Back in April, the New York Times did a story about Mets knuckleballer/lobber R.A. Dickey and his unusually named bats, and while having a bat named after The Hobbit is pretty amazing, it’s nowhere near as amazing as the retraction at the bottom.
Correction: May 8, 2011
An item in the Extra Bases baseball notebook last Sunday misidentified, in some editions, the origin of the name Orcrist the Goblin Cleaver, which Mets pitcher R. A. Dickey gave one of his bats. Orcrist was not, as Dickey had said, the name of the sword used by Bilbo Baggins in the Misty Mountains in “The Hobbit”; Orcrist was the sword used by the dwarf Thorin Oakenshield in the book. (Bilbo Baggins’s sword was called Sting.)
I love living in a world where this is not only factual information about sports, but in need of such a hyper-specific, nerdy retraction. To enjoy today’s Dugout, please remember that R.A. Dickey owns a bunch of bats with Dwight Schrute names and that for a large period of my life I was very lonely and read a lot of books. Today’s Dugout is after the jump.
The Dugout
| **Online Host** Welcome to the New York Mets Chatroom! | |
 | RADickal: After Thorin found Orcrist in the hoard of Tom, Bert, and Will, it was taken from him by the Great Goblin at the High Pass of the Misty Mountain! |
 | KeepTheDevilDownInThole: whoaaaa |
| RADickal: The sword was recovered by Gandalf and returned to Thorin, but when the Dwarves were imprisoned in Mirkwood, Orcrist was once again taken, this time by Thranduil the Elvenking! |
| KeepTheDevilDownInThole: dude this is like a whole awesome part of history I never knew existed |
| RADickal: The Hobbit then tells us that when Thorin was slain in the Battle of Five Armies, at his funeral Thranduil placed Orcist upon Thorin’s tomb. |
| RADickal: This is to say, it was separate from the corpse of Thorin. However, The Lord of the Rings tells us that Orcrist may have been placed inside the tomb, with Thorin’s body. |
| RADickal: So yeah, that’s why I named this bat "Orcrist." It’s important to name your bats, I think |
| RADickal: when you’re a pitcher |
| RADickal: for the mets |
| KeepTheDevilDownInThole: do you have any other cool bats?? |
 | GeeUnit: preferably one that doesn’t make my dick shrank just from hearin about it |
| RADickal: Sure! This one I call "Hrunting," named for the sword Beowulf used to slay Grendel’s Mother in the epic poem. |
| RADickal: I use it when I have to Hbunt |
| RADickal: THIS bat is called Ultima Weapon, and it draws its power from the wielder. It gives me a +1 in batting .260 |
| GeeUnit: mhoops, never getting laid again |
| RADickal: I think playing for the Mets made sure you were never getting laid again |
| RADickal: I mean seriously, do you think Keith Hernandez would say the stupid sh** he says if somebody had gone down on him in the last 30 years |
| GeeUnit: good point |
| GeeUnit: aight then that’s cool, you got any bats from Lufia Fortress of Doom |
| RADickal: what am i some kind of nerd |
| RADickal: This one is pretty easy, I call this bat "Excalibur." |
 | BeatoBailey: like the arthurian legend! |
| RADickal: No, like the Victory class destroyer from Babylon 5. What’s the matter with you guys, haven’t you ever read a book? |
| KeepTheDevilDownInThole: wasn’t that a TV show |
| RADickal: it was also a series of critically-acclaimed novels |
| GeeUnit: maybe you should have less literate bats, we’re the mets man outside of meeting and greeting we cain’t really do a lot |
| BeatoBailey: toog me fife minnets to tipe "arthurian" |
| RADickal: uh, well |
| RADickal: this one I call Annabel Leigh, it broke back in middle school and left me stuck at 12 home runs for the rest of my life |
| KeepTheDevilDownInThole: … |
| GeeUnit: nothing |
| RADickal: okay here, I call this one "the bad guy from star wars." |
| BeatoBailey: sry don no what that is |
| KeepTheDevilDownInThole: You’re really dating yourself with these references! Heh! |
| RADickal: do you seriously not know the bad guy from f**king star wars |
| KeepTheDevilDownInThole: I know Star Wars is a MOVIE, but I was born in 1986, and yup just checked wikipedia it says Star Wars came out a few years before I was born |
| RADickal: They rereleased it in the 90s! And they made three more of them after that! |
| KeepTheDevilDownInThole: okay elitist, sorry, I just don’t pay a lot of attention to movies, or things that happen while I’m living |
| RADickal: okay well I call this one "Osama Bin Laden Rebecca Black Friday hashtag The Rock" |
| BeatoBailey: gasps |
| GeeUnit: not cool man, too soon |
| RADickal: WHICH PART |
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This was awesome and I enjoyed it, although I did not get many of the references.
“this one I call Annabel Leigh”
Poe or “Lolita” reference, or both?
@UU – Lolita reference, if you combine it with the remainder of the quote.
New favorite Dugout right here. You have no idea how much I laughed at the Babylon 5 thing.
Also, it is a real possibility that Thole has no idea who the bad guy from Star Wars is.
Oh B, you frickin’ nerd you.
@B, um yeah. I should have known from the middle school reference.
“You got any bats from Lufia Fortress Of Doom”
This was hilarious except for the part about not knowing what Star Wars is because it’s older than Josh Thole which is sadly too on the mark for kids these days.
My favorite reference in this whole Dugout was Josh Thole’s name.
Finally! A Mets Dugout! I’ve been waiting like two years for this shit!
“hbunt” LOOOOOOOOL
Partyin partyin YEAH
+1 to everything about this.
You do realize this will inevitably start some sort of raging nerdfight in the comm….oh you clever bastard.
“when you’re a pitcher …..for the mets” BAH!
KeepTheDevilDownInThole ftmfw. love it
RADickal: I mean seriously, do you think Keith Hernandez would say the stupid sh** he says if somebody had gone down on him in the last 30 years
*dies laughing*
Best Dugout of 2011 so far, B.
This was a great Dugout.
Even though it was about a pitcher.
For the Mets.
The Keith Hernandez line was my favorite too. I used to respect the man, but the Just for Men commercials make me wish that he, Walt Frazier and Emmett Smith would commit mutual isosceles homicide.
Ahhhahaha, my favorite part is:
okay elitist, sorry, I just don’t pay a lot of attention to movies, or things that happen while I’m living
I always preferred Glamdring the Foe Hammer over Orcrist. But then, everybody knows Glamdring.
I have a feeling lots of people suffer the problem of not paying a lot of attention to things that happen while they’re living.
Also I’m surprised nobody’s tried naming a bat Mjolnir and trying to achieve the power of flight with it (or at least imbue the power of flight unto a baseball)…yet!
I’m a weird person that has never read Lord of the Rings, yet has played Lufia & The Fortress of Doom. Go figure. You’d think anyone who likes obscure SNES RPGs would be a LotR fan, yet I can’t even watch the first movie without wondering who the fuck Boromir is and why I should care that he died.
Great Dugout despite my only getting half the references.
This was a fantastic Dugout, despite me not knowing any of these people. I got enough of it to find it really funny anyway.
Highlights for me are either Dickey’s bitter new ‘okay well I call this one Osama Bin Laden Rebecca Black Friday hashtag The Rock’ name, or how long it took Beato to spell ‘Arthurian’. But, yeah, the whole thing is pretty great.
Dave, I already miss your John Morrison gravatar.