Worst: Oh Lord, Here Comes Comedy

oh lord, here it comes

I applaud the Rock’s ability to act somewhat natural (or at least act like The Rock) during wacky backstage segments. It’s what made his interaction with The Hurricane, and to a lesser extent Rosey, so memorable. So when he was approached by Vladimir Kozlov and humored him for a few seconds before asking him if he was crazy, I enjoyed it. Then, Santino showed up in costume that the Rock had to clarify for those of us at home, and I knew I was on a Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride toward a Toad Hall-sized facepalm. Hornswoggle showed up as the Scorpion King and The Great Khali showed up as the Tooth Fairy, and a fun time was had by all (no one).

They should’ve taken the joke to its logical conclusion and brought in Orlando Jordan as The Rock from Be Cool, and then had everybody confusingly jump cut for four hours to homage Southland Tales.

Worst: Hey Rock, I Don’t Want To Go To Your Square Middle School Party

The Rock is a huge movie star and a legendary WWE Champion who is fairly open about the measurements of his dong and the frequency with which he wolfs pussy. So why does The Rock’s birthday party look like something from the beginning of a “Full House” episode? You know, they go to a party and Stephanie (or whoever) is nervous about talking to boys, and then Uncle Jesse (or whoever) sings a Beach Boys song (or whatever) and dances all stupid, and everybody lightens up and starts TV dancing together? The boys and the girls were on opposite sides of the room, and poor Daniel Bryan spent more time talking to Evan Bourne than Gail Kim. Although that might be Evan Bourne’s fault.

I half expected to see Yoshi Tatsu playing Pin the Tail On The Racist Donkey off in the background somewhere.

Best: KAITLYN SIGHTING

Hey, you beautiful little muscley thing, where have you been? I’ve missed you.

Worst: Nation of Do What Now

The Rock and Ron Simmons should not be standing next to each other peacefully, much less in a situation where Rock is using Simmons as a comedy capper. Simmons needs to don the blue gladiator helmet and start Dominating folks, or somebody needed to invite D’Lo Brown and the Godfather to the party and make the reunion official.

Of course, The Rock’s miliant black background has been washed away in that storm that took Triple H vs. Undertaker at Wrestlemania 17 and the explanation of who raised the briefcase on Stone Cold Steve Austin. (editor’s note: It was the Big Bossman, know your history).