Who's ready to f*ck up two lottery picks?

The Cleveland Cavaliers won the first pick in the 2011 NBA Draft last night, and Dan Gilbert and Co. are now on the clock to most likely select Duke point guard Kyrie Irving in what many are I’m calling one of the worst drafts in NBA history. But the Cavs have a great chance to rebuild in the post-LeBron era with the top pick and the No. 4 pick, with which they’ll probably select a big European player, because that’s what this draft looks like. However, it’s Dan Gilbert we’re talking about and he doesn’t need to rebuild, because his Cavs will win a championship before LeBron James and the Miami Heat, who you can watch tonight in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals, which is the last round before the NBA Finals, after which a team wins a championship, in case Dan is confused.

Playoff semantics aside, Dan sent his 14-year old son Nick, who suffers from neurofibromatosis, as the team’s ambassador to David Stern’s lip-craving butt, and Minnesota Timberwolves general manager David Kahn used Nick’s presence to air his thoughts on the Lottery selection process.

“This league has a habit, and I am just going to say habit, of producing some pretty incredible storylines,” Kahn said. “Last year it was Abe Pollin’s widow and this year it was a 14-year-old boy and the only thing we have in common is we have both been bar mitzvahed. We were done. I told Kevin: ‘We’re toast.’ This is not happening for us and I was right.” (CBS Sports)

Some media outlets are reporting Kahn’s comment as a (bad) joke, while others are calling it mean-spirited and a shining example of why Kahn’s presence in the NBA is a (bad) joke. I see it as a bitter executive, who notably drafted three point guards in the first round of the 2009 NBA Draft, simply upset because he can’t draft this year’s top PG. Now he’s stuck with stupid big man Derrick Williams.

Aside from an ill 14-year old being the face of the Cavs, what other evidence is there that this Lottery could have been fixed? Sure, the NBA Draft Lottery is a terrible process, when a team like the Utah Jazz can finish 4 games under .500 and still receive the No. 3 pick, while the Sacramento Kings, Washington Wizards and Toronto Raptors couldn’t even break the 25-win mark if they combined rosters. But Kahn needs to stick to what he’s best at, and that’s investing in NBA Developmental League teams so that Stern will favor him and make a team hire him as an executive. Wait, what?