| | **Online Host**
Welcome to the Driving Down Interstate 75 Near Tampa Chatroom! |
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 | DukesOfHazzard: ♫ unnnnnnn u no what it is blacken yello blacken yello black yello ♫ /somehow ghost-rides the whip while still in car |
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| DukesOfHazzard: ay i wonder if that would work with tha colorz im wearin right now … ♫ unnnn i no what it is red an white red an white red an white |
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| DukesOfHazzard: lol it work |
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| | **Online Host**
A LadyCop has entered the chatroom. |
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| DukesOfHazzard: aww here it go |
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 | LadyCop: /strolls up to driver’s side window, taps on glass License and registration, please. |
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| DukesOfHazzard: /hands over papers |
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| LadyCop: Okay, so, first of all, were you aware that your license is expired |
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| DukesOfHazzard: yup got arrested for it like two years ago figured it be inspired by now |
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| LadyCop: secondly, are you aware that your registration is a stack of napkins from Long John Silver’s |
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| DukesOfHazzard: so |
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| LadyCop: who is that with you in the car /leans in |
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| DukesOfHazzard: pregnant girlfrien |
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| LadyCop: could you stop punching her for a second so I could ask her a few questions |
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| DukesOfHazzard: i ain’t gon stop punchin sh:t all my papers legit |
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| LadyCop: are you aware that you are growing what looks like 40-50 marijuana plants in the backseat of your car |
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| LadyCop: are you aware that you ran over a bald eagle at some point and have dragging it behind your car for the last 20 miles |
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| LadyCop: are you aware that this license somehow expired three months before you were born |
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| LadyCop: … /looks at phone |
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| LadyCop: are you aware that you just texted me a picture of a broadsword with "u ded bithc" underneath |
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| DukesOfHazzard: sorry wrong numba meant to tex it to this bithc |
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| DukesOfHazzard: n2 answer your ?s somehow yes i am aware of all dem thangs |
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| LadyCop: now there’s a baby in your floorboard |
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| DukesOfHazzard: aw fuk me i was punchen in the rong direction |
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| LadyCop: Please step out of the car. You’re under so much arrest. |
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| DukesOfHazzard: fa what |
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| DukesOfHazzard: fa what bitch fa what |
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| DukesOfHazzard: what could you possibly arres me for, me, the good damn samarathan |
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| LadyCop: driving with an expired license, aggravated battery of a pregnant woman, drug possession, brutal manslaughter of an endangered species, unlawful anachronism, one count of texting a broadsword |
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| LadyCop: threatening a police officer, resisting arrest, performing an abortion without a license, one count of wearing your baseball uniform a year after they made you stop playing baseball |
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| LadyCop: threatening the life of a dog? Should I go on |
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| DukesOfHazzard: what you arrest me for |
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| LadyCop: really |
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| DukesOfHazzard: this america |
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| DukesOfHazzard: lol this is still america righ, Lol i don’t got a got damn clue where we at |
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| LadyCop: please step out of the car |
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| DukesOfHazzard: sorry caint chopt off my leg so i could beat the concepted life outta this downtrodden woman |
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| LadyCop: please roll out of the car |
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| DukesOfHazzard: sorry caint i aint moved athleticly in like four yrs my whole body is atrophied |
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| LadyCop: please fall out of the car |
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| DukesOfHazzard: sorry caint, accidentally welded the door shut with a crack pipe |
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| LadyCop: please drive your car to the nearest police station and stay there forever |
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| DukesOfHazzard: … |
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| DukesOfHazzard: yeah aight |
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Back on point. Perfect.
*marks out for the return of LadyCop*
All is well with the world now. :D
“You are under so much arrest.”
Best Dugout line of the With Leather Epoch thus far.
*crying*
Has there ever been more of a complete fuck up than Elijah Dukes to ever play major league baseball?
“sorry caint, accidentally welded the door shut with a crack pipe” had me rolling.
Yep, this is about right. <3 u
Hip hop hooray~!
And LadyCop makes it through unscathed! Quiet day of work for her.
DukesOfHazzard: yup got arrested for it like two years ago figured it be inspired by now.
Awesome.
WOW, just Wow
I’m sweating here in my cube trying to hold in the laughter. A tip of the hat to you good sir
punching in the wrong direction ftfw. thanks B, I ain’t even bullish*tten
One count of texting a broadsword… classic.
Day = made. Great work.
Welcome back, Lady Cop. May we see you arresting many, many more MLB stars.
At first I was like “I don’t know if it’s funny that Elijah Dukes can’t get his life together and keeps getting in trouble.”
Then I read it and I was all “lol it work.”
Thanks, everybody. I’m still getting accustomed to the new venue, so knowing you’re laughing helps out a lot.
@Juice – Trust me, we intended to use her once, and ended up using her like 200 times.
Hey LadyCop! I missed you!!
“u ded bithc” is awesome, I want to text this to someone but I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t get it, plus all my broadsword pics are super blurry.
“yup got arrested for it like two years ago figured it be inspired by now”
GAH! I almost can’t stand it, it’s so funny. I love the lines that make me laugh harder 30 minutes after I’ve read a Dugout than I did when I first drank it in…
DukesOfHazzard: sorry caint i aint moved athleticly in like four yrs my whole body is atrophied
I wouldn’t doubt it.
great work, B!
unlawful anachronism and one count of texting a broadsword had me chortling only like reading so many dugouts can have me doing. Great work B.
LADY COP :D
I get the feeling that the Dugout version of Elijah Dukes is closer to the real life version than any other Dugout character. That makes me sad inside.
I’m going to name my band “Unlawful Anachronism.”
Or maybe my pet dodo.
Best WL Dugout yet!
Holy crap, unlawful anachronism. I know I’m not the first to say it, but yes. Very yes.
fa what
OMG. HAHA! :) You’re so good at these.
The most immortal words of Elijah Dukes:
You dead dawg, I ain’t even bullshittin’. Your kids too.