Worst: Michael Cole is Not Gone
It felt like a warm bath. Jim Ross was welcoming us to a sold out, tarped-off arena for Monday Night Raw. Things were going off without a hitch; the announcing was solid, stories were being told, things were getting over. Ross explaining about how Jack Swagger’s ankle lock is one of the most painful things you could ever experience did more to put over the move than weeks of Kofi Kingston worming out of it. I was happy that the worst was over, and that thanks to some badly paced punching at Wrestlemania we were going to be free from Cole.
And then Cole shows up.
I defended him for a long time. I thought the idea of a heel announcers who really, really needs to get punched in the mouth was a positive thing for Raw. Turns out I was wrong as a motherf**k of sh:t and Cole is the worst thing ever. He comes to the ring, incapacitates Jerry Lawler, sprays some barbecue sauce on Jim Ross and I guess Ross couldn’t find any replacement clothing within two hours or do his job slightly stained because Cole, Josh Mathews and Booker T took over. Like a paintball episode, it was all downhill from there. And while I’m at it,
Worst: Booker T
I like you and all, but damn, stop talking.
The Rock walks the ring and Booker’s all “HEY GUYS I THINK THAT’S THE ROCK AND HE’S MAD” while the Rock’s trying to talk. You are better than your brother in the ring, but way worse than him behind the mic. Stevie Ray or we riot.
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Don’t know how you can sit through a match with Sheamus, the glare off that pasty bastard is blinding.
Seriously though, he looks creepier than Goldust and Vicera combined. Never thought I’d say this about a pro wrestler, but that guy needs to hit the spray on tan harder.
I’m surprised they were able to find enough Valtrex to scrub the ring with in so short a time.
The best was when Miz called the afroed dude “Buckwheat”
ALSO, one thing to remember is that the WWE couldn’t be trusted to give us a money payoff for the EASIEST angle ever to give us a money payoff (Cole/Lawler). How am I going to trust them to give me a payoff for a 12 month build?
HEY GUYS ITS THE ROCK AND HES MAD
amazing
Oh yeah, did anyone else imagine Vince screaming in Booker’s headset to shut up when he remarked that John Morrison probably didn’t get all of Starship Pain?
@TH ha, yeah, at this point you know the production team sees Morrison setting up for Starship Pain and is all “sighhhhh shoot it from over Vickie’s shoulder.”
*has spikey hair*
*jobs to Great Khali*
Are you gonna tell me your favorite match DOESN’T feature Judah Friedlander as the world’s worst Joel Gertner?
Cena/Rock as a storyline is just the worst. The WM27 main event was DESTROYED to make way for the next year’s. No one is paying $60 to see an advertisement for 2012′s show.
@TH Yup. “Keep those details out of it, damnit!”
I’ve never seen the greatest match of all time before. Thank you for introducing me to it, I can die a happy man now.
The intro for Judah Friedlander was pretty damn funny though.
Now I’m a pretty patient guy,but who the hell is gonna care about the Cena/Rock beef a year from now? Cena should have told him “now or never”,and then punched him in the jaw. Also,Sin Cara’s debut was pretty sweet. It would be refreshing to see some more matches and downplaying all the in-ring trashtalk/backstage beef sessions. That shits gotten real old.
Orton/Mysterio/Punk/Rhodes was more than just mildly disappointing for me. I really Really REALLY wanted Cody to take a punt, just to solidify his imagined disfigurement. Also, not really mentioned, but Tough Enough is a lot better than I expected. Austin FTW.
It looked to me like there was almost a Shockmaster kick-off to Sin Cara – did he just barely clear the top rope, or actually skim it and not make a “smooth” dive?
The intro to this article is kind of the best thing ever.
Am I the only one who got fucking crazy chills when Miz+Cena ALMOST won the tag team belts right before facing off at wrestlemania? i thought that would have been awesome. I still want to see some superstaresque teams show up… Rock+Cena, Edge+Christian, Miz+Rhodes?/Punk?/Orton?
@BRandon: I think you cursed Stone Cold the other day. He dropped at least two beers. It looked like he couldn’t believe it was happening either, at least going by the look on his face toward the end of the segment.
Does nobody in WWE know any Spanish besides those announcers? Cole and Matthews constantly saying Sin Care-uh was annoying as hell. If you’re going to spend weeks marketing this new international superstar, don’t you think you should learn to pronounce his name correctly? Also, just go ahead and set Cole on fire. He doesn’t even do heel commentary well, since he doesn’t do it across the board. He just stays on Miz’s, Punk’s, and his own nuts the whole time. Lawler was the master, Cole doesn’t have a clue how to do this right.