Best/Worst: Cena Vs. Rock at Wrestlemania 28
Here’s the thing.
Best: This is the match everybody wanted to see a month ago. If Rocky knew he was going to wrestle again, I wish they would’ve set it up to happen in Atlanta. Put Rock in the match with Cena and Miz and Rock doesn’t even have to take a pinfall. Rock is in great shape, Cena was ready to go (outside of his weird concussiony wandering at Mania), Miz will do anything you tell him. You make bank, you send everybody home happy.
Now, that didn’t happen, and sure, I’d like to see Cena vs. Rock in an actual match. I think we all would, no matter our reasons. Cena haters want to see Rock kick his ass, I want to see Rock tap out to an STF where neither of Cena’s arms are touching his head or face. You’re still making bank. But, the problem:
Worst: This Isn’t Going To Happen
I’m not getting my hopes up. The wrestling business can change a lot in twelve months. Who knows where Rock’s movie career will be? “Fast Five” could gross a billion dollars and shoot him into a bunch of new roles. He could be up for an Oscar or something (stranger things have happened, David Otunga’s wife has one) and get pressured from Hollywood because wrestling is “beneath him,” with Wrestlemania being his “Norbit.” More believable scenario, Disney tosses $30 million at him to film The Tooth Fairy 2: Molar Express in March. Or, worst case scenario, he remembers how easy it is to be a movie star and stops wanting to wrestle.
At the same time, how much faith can we put in John Cena going twelve months without hurting himself? The guy’s always ripping muscles off of things. One wrong Cobra and his entire torso could collapse. I’ve seen those Don’t Try This At Home commercials, I know accidents can happen, and no matter how good you are at this, Alex Riley could body slam you wrong once and screw up hundreds of millions of dollars in plans.
So
Best/Worst: Cena Vs. Rock at Wrestlemania 28
I want it to happen, and I hope it does. A year-long build for a match is unprecedented in modern WWE, and despite my complete lack of faith in their ability to execute, I hope it turns out great and stays compelling all year. But just to be safe, I’d put Cena on one of those MMA-type Real Sports Build plans where he only wrestles at pay-per-views to keep him healthy, and I make sure to bring The Rock back and have someone arbitrarily insult him every few months to keep him interested. Kozlov, go call this guy something racist! Problem solved.
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Don’t know how you can sit through a match with Sheamus, the glare off that pasty bastard is blinding.
Seriously though, he looks creepier than Goldust and Vicera combined. Never thought I’d say this about a pro wrestler, but that guy needs to hit the spray on tan harder.
I’m surprised they were able to find enough Valtrex to scrub the ring with in so short a time.
The best was when Miz called the afroed dude “Buckwheat”
ALSO, one thing to remember is that the WWE couldn’t be trusted to give us a money payoff for the EASIEST angle ever to give us a money payoff (Cole/Lawler). How am I going to trust them to give me a payoff for a 12 month build?
HEY GUYS ITS THE ROCK AND HES MAD
amazing
Oh yeah, did anyone else imagine Vince screaming in Booker’s headset to shut up when he remarked that John Morrison probably didn’t get all of Starship Pain?
@TH ha, yeah, at this point you know the production team sees Morrison setting up for Starship Pain and is all “sighhhhh shoot it from over Vickie’s shoulder.”
*has spikey hair*
*jobs to Great Khali*
Are you gonna tell me your favorite match DOESN’T feature Judah Friedlander as the world’s worst Joel Gertner?
Cena/Rock as a storyline is just the worst. The WM27 main event was DESTROYED to make way for the next year’s. No one is paying $60 to see an advertisement for 2012′s show.
@TH Yup. “Keep those details out of it, damnit!”
I’ve never seen the greatest match of all time before. Thank you for introducing me to it, I can die a happy man now.
The intro for Judah Friedlander was pretty damn funny though.
Now I’m a pretty patient guy,but who the hell is gonna care about the Cena/Rock beef a year from now? Cena should have told him “now or never”,and then punched him in the jaw. Also,Sin Cara’s debut was pretty sweet. It would be refreshing to see some more matches and downplaying all the in-ring trashtalk/backstage beef sessions. That shits gotten real old.
Orton/Mysterio/Punk/Rhodes was more than just mildly disappointing for me. I really Really REALLY wanted Cody to take a punt, just to solidify his imagined disfigurement. Also, not really mentioned, but Tough Enough is a lot better than I expected. Austin FTW.
It looked to me like there was almost a Shockmaster kick-off to Sin Cara – did he just barely clear the top rope, or actually skim it and not make a “smooth” dive?
The intro to this article is kind of the best thing ever.
Am I the only one who got fucking crazy chills when Miz+Cena ALMOST won the tag team belts right before facing off at wrestlemania? i thought that would have been awesome. I still want to see some superstaresque teams show up… Rock+Cena, Edge+Christian, Miz+Rhodes?/Punk?/Orton?
@BRandon: I think you cursed Stone Cold the other day. He dropped at least two beers. It looked like he couldn’t believe it was happening either, at least going by the look on his face toward the end of the segment.
Does nobody in WWE know any Spanish besides those announcers? Cole and Matthews constantly saying Sin Care-uh was annoying as hell. If you’re going to spend weeks marketing this new international superstar, don’t you think you should learn to pronounce his name correctly? Also, just go ahead and set Cole on fire. He doesn’t even do heel commentary well, since he doesn’t do it across the board. He just stays on Miz’s, Punk’s, and his own nuts the whole time. Lawler was the master, Cole doesn’t have a clue how to do this right.