I wanted to save it for my first TNA iMPACT! review, but I might go ahead and call this week’s installment of the column the “Worst and Worst of WWE Raw.” There are a few things keeping me from enjoying the show, and they are
1. I was incapacitated last week with a viral infection of my intestines, which ended up basically poisoning me and putting me in the hospital for three days. I didn’t do a Best and Worst last week but I watched the show, and all I can really remember is morphine and an extremely white guy retiring.
2. I spent this weekend in Philadelphia at CHIKARA’s King of Trios tournament, which included (in one place or another) the Great Sasuke, Jinsei Shinzaki, Dick Togo, Manami Toyota, Akira Tozawa, Archibald Peck of “The Band” and a handful of guys from Osaka Pro, including a Japanese Spider-man. It’s hard to go from three days of amazing wrestling to two hours of unentertaining entertainment.
3. Raw is awful.
I’m sure next week will pick back up, but here we go. I apologize in advance.
Worst: England
Not the country. It’s just that whenever Raw starts off with big flags on the stage, you automatically know that you’re in for two hours of pointless water-treading. Nothing happens in England. Sure, if William Regal is around they might trot him out for the first time in eight months to win the Intercontinental Championship or something, and that’s always fun, but other than that you know Mark Henry is going to be competing against the current whoever version of Manu, and nothing is going to happen.
Sure enough, literally nothing happened on Raw last night. The Draft is next week, so coupling that with the big flags meant you might as well be watching an unusually terrible episode of Superstars. You know, I’m not 100% against the whole “entertainment” initiative, and if you’d rather “make a movie” or tell a story than wrestle a wrestling match, sure, go for it. The only thing I ask is that you make a good movie, or tell an interesting story, and that you won’t expect “R-Truth drinks water” to be thirty minutes long.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/1245/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/kevin-jonas-wwe-raw-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/bateman-gif-180x180.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/wrestling-glamour-shots-31-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/SHIELD-180x180.png)
dude you have once again hit the nail on the head. keep it up! The Dolph Ziggler gag had me on the floor!
Ah, I didn’t think it was so bad, but I also watched most of it fast forwarded.
Somewhat unrelated, but do you post on DVDVR? I’ve lurked for years and follower The Dugout for years, so its kind of neat to have two worlds collide like this.
@Probably – I read DVDR, and I posted there briefly, but I got randomly banned without explanation one day, so I don’t really know what happened.
Kong is coming to kill your barbies! Kong is coming to kill ALL your barbies!
I was at this show live and I actually had a really good time. In fairness though, that was probably mainly because I was with my friend, having a good time, the crowd(or at least my section) was fun, and it has been a very long time since I went to a wrestling show (in fact this was my first ever WWE TV show). Maybe on TV it came off differently though, and I can certainly agree with a fair bit of this, so great article again. Also, completely agree on how generic Ziggler looks now.
Additional worst: no Regal OR Daniel Bryan
Additional best: in the dark match after the televised show (Cena/Orton vs. Punk/Miz), CM Punk did the Earthquake splash and it was kind of amazing.
Laurel Hershiser
Arty Cordova
Villano DeShields
I actually like organic chemistry.
A big chunk of Raw sucking is not caring about any feuds going into Extreme Rules. This goes back to being disappointed in Wrestlemania and them doing nothing to break out of the disappointment. It’s a tailspin right now. At least your columns are amusing.
The best part of Raw is ALWAYS The Best and Worst of WWE Raw report. While I enjoy how you usually find many positive aspects each week if they are gonna mail it in like they apparently did just now I say go ahead and rip them a new one.
Would be great if your writing got a larger audience because exactly what that company needs is some constructive criticism to keep them honest. I would imagine Vince McMahon is like a king who has been ruling for thirty years who has only yes men around him. Stooges if you will.
God I hope they don’t change Kong’s name to Kharma. Can’t they just go with Amazing Kong or Astonishing Kong or, hell, just Kong? She is not a woman but a beast so we do not need to slut her name up. Also, if China could wrestle with guys, I don’t see why Kong can’t. And yes, she will kill your babies!
Honestly I’ll be happy if Kong can spend a couple of years in WWE without getting into a romance with Santino.
@Brandon: I give it 6 months before her and Santino are together.
Raw was bad, but it wasn’t as bad as you say it was. . . The divas looked pretty good too.
It’s nice when RAW tapes overseas because the spoilers are out in advance and it’s like they’re doing me a favor by removing any lingering curiosity I may have had in regard to watching!
Also, I’m glad that a virtuous company has finally stood up against Big Tobacco and its underhanded business practices, life-endangering product and irresponsible marketing of its brand toward impressionable children!
Yay! Where were ya last week?
WL please keep on with these weekly Raw reports and continue to give exponentially less of a shit about baseball.
MLB: It’s One Long Timeout!
Ooooh, the hopsital. My bad, I usually skip the article and just read the pictures.
good
I’m gonna ‘bate it to Kong pinups so much probably