Being a happy wrestling fan is like being politically moderate. It makes sense on paper, but Jesus, everyone around you has fallen off the deep end. To the right you have Pro Wrestling Republicans, the people who describe themselves as “smart” but can’t stop telling you who got the biggest pops, the people who can’t send in match results without editorializing about burials and “going home” and whatever other lingo they picked up from DVDR this week. To the left you have Pro Wrestling Democrats, apologists who think we should all just sit back and enjoy the wrestling for what it is, people who don’t understand why you’re taking this so seriously because the only thing good about wrestling is colorful characters and finishing moves. Both sides love the Undertaker.
And that brings us to Wrestlemania 27, one of the most talked about shows in recent memory. No, not that happy kind of talking like when the Nexus attacked and something violent and wonderful was happening in wrestling. No, that sad kind of sighing talk like when Nexus existed in any and every other week.
I’m going to go through this in order, and try to keep my wits about me.
[images (mostly) courtesy of MGFanJay @ DVDR]
Worst: Edge is a Jerk
Edge barely makes sense as a character and wrestler. Have you ever stopped to think about it? His original character was a man that you “did not know.” Then he transitioned into a vampire, became a surfer, got into bodybuilding and became a do-gooding babyface monster only to morph into the dough-bodied, hyper-sexual “ultimate opportunist.” So now he’s this ratty-haired guy with a body like Scud the Disposable Assassin and the whitest voice ever, doing the lamest, jerkiest things (calling people “stupid,” feuding with a laptop, kidnapping and murdering Paul Bearer for fun) and somehow he’s a good guy. Maybe his character is still “guy you don’t know,” because man, I don’t think I know who he is.
All that being said, Edge may have topped himself by pinning Albert Del Rio and destroy his Rolls Royce for no reason. Remember Starrcade 85? Tully Blanchard had been a total asshole to Magnum TA, doing all sorts of reprehensible sh;t to him. Magnum finally got Tully in a cage, where he couldn’t get out and nobody else could get in to help him. He beat Tully within an inch of his life and made Tully quit. After the match, Magnum had a chance to finish off Tully for good, but you know what he did? He refused. He didn’t want to stoop to Tully’s level. Magnum walked away the better man, leaving Tully a blubbering, hypocritical mess in the ring. What Edge did here is the exact opposite of that. All he accomplished was making me wish ADR would beat his ass for wrecking up his car.
That’s the generational difference, I guess.
Best: Alberto Del Rio is a Jerk
And man, if you’d told me two years ago that Dos Caras, Jr., would be competing in a World Heavyweight Championship match at Wrestlemania and carrying Edge to his first watchable thing in ages I would’ve laughed in your face, but here we are. Del Rio is the best kind of heel; a smug, satisfied guy who isn’t necessarily a bad guy, he’s just different, and willing to go to extreme lengths to get the job done in the ring. He’s a scaled back version of the “ultimate opportunist” — in direct contrast to Edge, Del Rio seems like he’s sneak attacking the arm and getting help from the outside because he wants to win wrestling matches, because he’s a wrestler. Edge kidnaps people and hits them in the face with food because he’s a horrible person.
Del Rio’s palatial estate entrance was the best, completed by the explanation from Cole about how that’s his actual house, and how he employs a bunch of people to work there and makes his community better. That’s the kind of thing they should be saying more often. It makes local Joes dislike him for his privilege without having to resort to “he hates all of you! Even you!”
A supplementary best goes to Michael Cole for making Jerry Lawler shoot laugh by screaming “HOW’S HE GONNA GET HOME?” when Edge ruined Del Rio’s car. I love the idea of Del Rio solemnly driving home from Georgia to f**king Mexico in this scratched up car with half a windshield.
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Two things.
1 – totally agree on Trips/Taker except that I loved the last five or so minutes of it, after Taker kicked out of the Tombstone and Trips recoiled like he had seen a ghost. Other than that… it was a lot of stalling with a highspot every once in awhile to bait the crowd into chanting “That was awesome!”
2 – You say it’s not Cena’s or Miz’s job to react to the crowd, but I think it totally is. Wrestling is one form of entertainment/sport-esque activity where the crowd is a crucial part of the festivities. A dead crowd hurts a match. On the contrary, a live crowd is a great tool. I think reading your reaction to the happenings, it makes me realize that a double turn might have worked, at least for that night only.
Just remember this. One of the best WrestleMania matches of all-time (ALL-TIME /Kanye’d) came about because two guys recognized the crowd had changed their roles and they just went with it. The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan at WM X-8. Search your feelings. You know this to be true.
The main event made me so dang angry! I stayed up three o’clock in the morning to watch this… they give me the suitably epic build videos and then… mediocre but passable wrestling, then just when it’s getting good THE FUCKING ROCK shows up.
I HATE THE FUCKING ROCK. I HATE HIM.
@TH – Re: Miz/Cena’s job, I absolutely agree with you that that is the job of a pro wrestler, I’m just saying that WWE does not necessarily want them to do that if it compromises the “movie” they’re trying to make.
Good writing. I didn’t watch the show so I can’t comment on anything other than the pictures. Mysterio as Cap vs. DD Cody Rhodes looks like it would’ve done more to get me into that match than any of the other ones.
Yea I dont know what to say as I didn’t watch and have given up on WWE. I do have to disagree with you tho, those balloons look pretty neat.
Prefacing this by saying that in your analogy you used I definitely lean more towards the Pro Wrestling Democrat side, and that I’m sorry but I will never not love The Undertaker (except in like 2001 or whatever when he was wrestling in purple shirts and snakeskin pants).
This is a great article, again, and I think the Best/Worst aspect allows you to stop being too negative or too blindly positive. It wasn’t the worst WrestleMania ever, but it was far, far from the best. I agree with a lot of what you said, though. Especially about the main event…I had such high hopes for that match and it just seemed a little ‘off’. It didn’t feel like a Mania main event at all and then JUST as it started to get good, it ended out of nowhere. I don’t know if it was a timing issue or what, but it was just weird and pretty bad in general. And I agree, the post-match made no sense without Rock adding himself to the match. Pretty stupid, really.
I did like HHH/Taker but that is in part because I always mark for Undertaker…certainly didn’t think it was better than either of the Michaels matches. Orton/Punk was the best, and I fully agree on Cody Rhodes.
Cole/Lawler was the biggest disappointment of the night beyond bumping Sheamus/Bryan, but I don’t care how nonsensical it is, Austin giving the Stunner to people for literally no reason is always fun.
Oh and also for some reason I had convinced myself that Cowboy Undertaker was going to come out on a horse and he didn’t so that sucked too.
Overall, another great article, funny but insightful at the same time. Oh and I’m getting your views on the Attitude Era as a tattoo.
@Dave – I’m really sad that he didn’t stun Lawler for no reason, then possibly JR before riding away on his all terrain.
I think Cena specifically still wrestling as a face in spite of the massive heel heat he generates is part of his schtick, for better or worse.
Absolutely awesome piece here. Lots of laughs, lots of truths. I basically agree with all of this, and some of your insight made me audibly say “holy shit hes so right it hurts” so, fuck man.
This Wrestlemania was just… fucking awkward and wrong. The majority of it fell flat and didn’t work and just made me confused, and on top of all that I did horrible on match predicitions. Honestly, I’ve been watching these live on PPV for 8 years now, and this one was easily the worst, no question. Just a letdown.
As usual I just want to quote like virtually every paragraph and say “fucking RIGHT?!” but just assume I did that. The only perspective of mine I feel a need to offer is the sincere hope you and I aren’t the only two people on Earth who recognize the Taker/HHH match for what it was: A match that started out with awesome fire and some crazy bumps, and ended up being some weird last twenty minutes of a last man standing iron man match with centuries of laying around and nonsensical STAY DOWN screaming.
And that springboard into RKO was almost as telegraphed as the Hells Gate counter. Guh.
The issue has always been and will always be the Rock, for this show. I didnt need his comedy bits, I didnt need his singalong opening, fuck, I didnt need him taking 8-9 minutes to get to the ring and start talking.
I hate to be “that” wrestling fan but UGH they couldnt have just shelved all the mindless talking ( was there a PURPOSE to Stone Cold and Rock interacting? ) to make room for some matches of better length? Daniel Bryan defending a WRESTLING TITLE at the WRESTLING EVENT? I cant be the only person who feels this way, and surely the law of averages says there’s someone on WWE’s Creative team who feels about the same way.
Jesus what a bad evening.
This show may be better in a decade when we’re removed from context. I wasn’t watching wrestling for a while, so I’ve gone back and watched 11 and 9 and found a few enjoyable things. They’re the worst, for sure, but small morsels of delight can be found when you’re not slamming on your keyboard about “oh my god why aren’t they using hakushi wwf you are the worst”
Since Cole got off the hook last evening, Snooki should have received his punishment. The crowd shit on her and it was absolutely deserved. Floyd Mayweather boxes, Lawrence Taylor plays football, Snoop Dogg raps, but what does Snooki do? Does she seriously just get drunk and have sex, is that all? If that’s her only contribution to sports and arts then I wish Dolph Ziggler would have ended the match with piledriving her into the broken Cole Mine glass.
There was a legit reason to boo Cena’s entrance, and that was that it seemed like it existed only to get us to like John Cena. It didn’t look like it was there to be cool or interesting or for the kids or anything – it just looked like a shitty ploy to show Cena on the side of the angels.
Something that really seemed to assist in the shit endings for both Lawler-Cole and the main event – they looked like they were continuing/starting feuds. Unless a major announcing change happens, we’re still going to have Cole and Lawler on Mondays, which would logically lead them to another match. We already know Rock’s on for some more in the next few months, and he’s probably going to have a match. I guess that’s all okay, but THIS IS WRESTLEMANIA WHY DO THEY NEED TO SPEND TIME STARTING FEUDS AT WRESTLEMANIA.
ALSO THE LAST FOUR PEOPLE TO WIN THE ROYAL RUMBLE HAVE LOST AT WRESTLEMANIA WHAT THE FUCK
double post whoops
And maybe it’s because I’m an impatient jackass myself, but I cannot imagine being Daniel Bryan right now and not wanting to pack my bags and walk out the door Kaval-style. It’s one thing to not use someone on your roster, it’s another thing to advertise him as a reason to purchase and then pull the rug out from underneath your fans, especially for a 13-year-old nostalgia act. Just go work Dragon Gate USA shows for the rest of time and be happy.
@ KaiserEddie – and it was really egregious bumping the match when you could tell Rock was being asked to stall while out there for his first segment. There’s no way he needs to spend about seven minutes getting people to say “dabba” if there’s another match.
I watched this with my girlfriend who really doesn’t enjoy wrestling. Those 4 hours didn’t help. Quote of the night from her: “This is like Phantom of the Opera” (during the Rhodes-Mysterio match)
I totally forgot to mention that my girlfriend described The Corre as looking “like Hostess Cupcakes.” She is the best thing ever.
I bought Mania for the first time in a long time, and honestly I couldn’t come up with anywhere near as many “Bests” as B did.
I enjoyed Taker-HHH. I thought they told a good story, and I actually liked the finish. On the other hand, I thought the post-match stuff could have contributed at least 3 or 4 minutes to the hypothetical Sheamus-Bryan match that B was trying to fit in.
For the most part, it almost seemed like the wrestlers had gotten a memo telling them to slow down everything they did. I thought Punk-Orton and Rey-Cody, while both good, were pretty slow-paced. Aside from the brutal spots in the Taker-HHH match, I just didn’t feel like anyone in any of the matches tried to really steal the show. Unfortunately, the style of booking they’re doing right now seems to put so little emphasis on actually having good matches that the guys with the talent to do so won’t get the chance. After the TLCs and MITBs at Mania, the bar is where it is – you’ve got to put on at least one high-flying, spotfest type match.
And I haven’t really heard anyone else say this, but in the short time they had I thought Miz worked circles around Cena. Cena’s timing just seemed off to me. On top of when he took one of the most inexplicable botched bumps you’ll ever see for no apparent reason, it seemed to continue to the point where JR and Lawler were covering for him by suggesting he’d had a concussion or something.
I so want to see Rey Manhattan now. Mizymandias was really sweet too though.
I watched this show,and like many people held out the hope that the Rock would be more than just a glorified hype man. Sadly this was not the case. and for him to get some camera time at the expense of the Cena/Miz matchup was ridiculous.Fuck the Rock. And fuck the WWE for trying to rehash the Attitude era. We’ve seen Stone Cold flip the bird and spill beer already. How about showcasing relevant talent(not Snooki)at your biggest event of the year(ahem,Daniel Bryan). All in all,I want my money back.
WM 27 was like an extra long Raw. They already used up all the Rock hype over the past few months so seeing him was no big deal. Of coarse he was going to get payback. That is your big draw? Weak. HHH vs Taker went as expected. H hits him with a ton of finishers but Taker can’t be pinned due to magic or something. No titles changed hands (do they still have tag titles? Did the IC belt change hands?) No big surprises. Very forgettable.
That really was the weirdest Wrestlemania I’ve ever seen. Cody and Rey and Punk and shoot even Orton kind of made everyone else look really bad at their jobs last night.
Rey’s human battering ram flying headbutts with Cody’s facemask on was totally one of MY bests. Also, Cole being mad because Rey didn’t NEED to wear the mask like Cody did.
I was wondering what the hell happened to the Bryan/Sheamus match. I paid my $65 to see a lot of wrestling and tolerate a minimum of WWE’s idea of comedy (although as Pee-Wee Herman fans, his appearance was a hit in our household), not the other way around.
As I mentioned on Twitter last night, it’s sad when the entrances are more entertaining than some of the actual matches. Taker, HHH, Miz, and Cena had probably the best entrances I have ever seen in wrestling. Pairing the late Johnny Cash with Taker? Yeah, I’m sure it’s been done, but damn, if that didn’t give me chills.
Lawler/Cole and Miz/Cena seemed to both suffer from the same problem–someone couldn’t figure out when to leave well enough alone. The “anonymous RAW general manager” gimmick should have died a well-deserved death months ago, and The Rock’s interference seemed tacked on for no reason other than to justify whatever it is they’re paying him to show up. Had he come in and simply beat the crap out of both of them, then got on the mic and verbally abused them for not performing up to his “electrifying” standards, it would have been more logical and definitely more entertaining. As it was, it was just garbage.
I liked Taker/HHH, but after the first Taker/HBK match, it’s been like one of those movies where the sequels are almost as good, but the “almost” gets a little further away with each consecutive release. I understand wanting to go for a nice round number like 20 wins before UT rides off into the sunset, but sometimes it’s best to think quality before quantity, and I can’t see the quality on this being maintainable.
The Edge/DelRio car bit was the saddest piece of “car-trashing” I’ve ever seen. Shit, in the state that car was in, all DelRio needed to do was look at the camera and say, “Uh-oh, better get Maaco!” Was there not enough money in the budget this year for car repair? Even the “bad arm” angle really doesn’t account for that. In following with Edge’s recent MO, it would have made more sense for him to steal the car, taunt DelRio on the next SD as to its location, and then have a properly trashed car revealed.
All in all, I’d give WM27 a C at best; had some really good moments, but not the best ever, not the worst ever, and definitely not worth the cost.
Is it upsetting to anyone if I way we’ll all be breathing a sigh of relief when Mae Young dies?
withleather used to be about sports and pictures of scarjo. now it’s about fake sports and pictures of guys in their underwear. it’s sad to say, but i’m unsubscribing after a lot of years reading withleather. this wwe stuff is garbage.
You have the absolute worst taste in wrestling.
Marky Mark and the Marky Bunch here.
The one main thing I can complain about with this WM…where the fuck is the blood? I mean c’mon you had Trips/Taker, and Cena/Miz. Those two matches NEEDED some blood. For God’s sake, even Michael Cole bled a little. Only Trips had any blood on him after the match with Taker and that wasn’t even really intentional.
Yes, I DID love the Hardcore Championship, problem?
@Ugh – Yes, I am a mark. You wanna know why? Because a wrestler, and I don’t pay any wrestlers to wrestle. Pretending you’re anything other than a mark is pretentious.
Holy crap! A Lance Russell sighting!
The only thing that could have saved that ending would have been Awesome Kong coming out of the crowd and destroying The Rock. Fade out on Kong standing over Rock while JR screams, “My Gawd! Who is she? What is she?”
I realize that Vince McMahon has desperately been craving respectability for decades now (I’ll start a football league! My wife will become a Senator! Anything but wrestling!), but all this emphasis on “entertainment” only proves that nobody in the entire creative department, top to bottom, knows how to “entertain.” Entertainment isn’t some magic dropper you squeeze to add ZEST! to things; entertainment is what happens when you execute your particular performing art well. Bad comedy? Three-minute squash matches? That’s okay, we’re an ENTERTAINMENT company! It even says so, thanks to those envirofags that won their suit. WE ENTERTAIN. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED.
You know what I’d be entertained by? Good wrestling matches. For fuck’s sake, WWE, stop trying so hard to be something you’re not.
The Cena-Miz match would have been a great time for a double switch, a la Austin-Bret Hart. They could have had Cena saying that he’s still wrestling for the kids, but F the rest of y’all. It’s funny, because the attitude era tainted us, and now WWE wants to pretend like it didn’t exist. Old school babyfaces don’t exist any more. Faces do heelish things, and heels become popular. If they want to take the best of the Attitude era and make it PG, they need to go look at some NWA tapes from the mid-80s. They excelled at ring psychology and classic booking and were hard-nosed without cursing and Katie Vick-like antics.
@Dashboard Victorino – I’m sorry your internet forces you to look at fake (ITS FAKE DONT YOU KNOW ITS FAKE) wrestling. I hope you can get a hold of an IT professional who can fix this.
@Ugh – You’re just a coward. Who knows what you think is good taste in wrestling. But if you like wrestling at all, you’re a mark too no matter how “smart” you think you are. Either start an actual discussion or get over yourself, because the odds of you having a clue are slim to none.
Thanks for reviewing this so I didn’t have to sit through it. The last time I enjoyed wrestling was when the Dudley Bros were feuding with Edge and Christian and the Hardys. Now that was a ladder match.
It really just hurt wrestling badly when Vince finally drove the WCW out of business.
Why are people so upset about occasional wrestling posts? I’m just a casual WWE fan and I love these write-ups and reviews. But unsubscribing because there’s new content on the site? It didn’t force any of your other precious items out. It’s the same concept as the radio dial. You’re not forced to leave it there. Read a different article, because quite frankly, we don’t care if you don’t care for WWE.
Brandon, keep up the great work.
On page 7, is that animated GIF really from the Jersey Shore? It strikes me as some kind of photoshoppery that Jimmy Kimmel would do on his talk show.
Because if she took that punch legit … wow.
@Bob – Thanks, friend.
@Proibito – Yep, that’s real. I mean, as real as anything else on those shows. Here’s a link to the video: [www.youtube.com]
I agreed with almost all of this, except your defense of the choir/Cena’s entrance. I realize wrestling can be pretty cornball or broad at times, but that was just insanely hokey. I *like* Cena and I still thought it and the prayer video was too over the top.
Watching that video of the Rock opening the show (which admittedly bored me so badly I skipped most of it, even when he was speaking), and all I could think of, watching an inverted image, was:
“The Rock’s head is on backwards.”
I laughed all the way at your Superhero comments about Rey, that stuff was brilliant.
Pretty good write up except for 2 things, Calling people “dumb baby sheep” who dislike Cena makes zero sense, because in reality he 100% sucks ass. The real dumb baby sheep are the small children who like to refer to themselves as “Cenation”. Not to knock them for it though Cena is a nice enough guy as a person. Which brings me too your second slip up the “roster full of legitimately talent”.Im sorry but (not counting the old legends on their way out) I just dont see it.Morrison is ok but he’s bad on the mike and his gimmick needs work, Orton’s promos are death to any audience,Ziggler is raw, Punk is good but their not using him right. Everyone else is off the radar. At the end of the day Vince is about money thats why he went with the Rock, and thats the only reason. Untill someone big comes along I dont see that changing..
@spawn – “Pretty good write up except for 2 things, Calling people “dumb baby sheep” who dislike Cena makes zero sense, because in reality he 100% sucks ass.”
Show your work. I don’t trust that mathematical analysis.
Wrestlemania is considered a sport? I thought With Leather was a sports blog.