In the most relaxing NBA fan video you’ll watch all day, Andres Gabriel Pita of the Miami-based Latin Urban Pop musical trio “Los Primeros” gives the Miami Heat a playoffs pep talk and causes you, the viewer, to die from an epileptic seizure. I originally formatted this post in the style of Pita’s video, but. I. broke. my. fingers. trying. to. emulate. HIS. style. of. VIDEO. production. He jump cuts between every word, sometimes in the middle of words (sometimes into nothing but screaming) like some Negaverse Ray William Johnson tripping on Bloody Eye and Code Red Mountain Dew. To the right is a screen grab of him EXPLODING INTO FIRE.
I think the best part of the video is when he gives up on talking about basketball to shout “boobies,” then makes a little fart noise with his mouth and gestures like he’s toothpasting milk out of his tit. Oh, and then there’s the part near the end (if you can make it to the end without blacking out) where he starts naming off ancillary Heat players with funny names like he’s Tom Haverford naming off foods. Eddie House is “Eddie Casa,” and I’m pretty sure Mario Chalmers is “long ass rice.”
In a related story, here’s the pep talk video for the Orlando Magic.