I’m a little late to the party with my NBA Playoffs orgy of information because I’m lazy. I have no other excuse than that. So I’m going to skip the formalities and make my quick predictions – Heat over Bulls, Thunder over Mavericks*, and the Heat winning it all. I know, it KILLS me to say that, but I’m an idiot who spent a whole season ripping the Heat and them playing the terribly mismatched Philadelphia 76ers is just the spark they need to win the title before the league shuts down for a year.
With that said, here’s a hastily thrown together and incredibly angry recap of last night’s action…
*I barely watched any Western Conference basketball this season, so that’s gonna be wrong.
Miami Heat 94, Philadelphia 76ers 73
This game was so disappointing for three reasons:
1) The Heat should have won by 50. With a 24-point lead and only 3 minutes left in the game, the Heat still had LeBron James, Chris Bosh and a sick Dwyane Wade in the game. If you’re going to be dicks, then be dicks with authority. The message was plain and simple – game 1 was a fluke, Miami was going to slaughter in game 2. Only a 21-point win? So sad.
2) With a 24-point lead and 3 minutes left, the Heat had their “Big 3” in. GROW SOME BALLS, PHILADELPHIA. How do you not stand up for yourselves and show some muscle? This is the same thing that the Cleveland Cavaliers f*cked up in their first match with LeBron and Co. this season. If someone is pissing on you, cut off the source. Thaddeus Young was terrible last night. The least he could have done was put Bosh on the ground a few times.
3) I grew up in Coral Springs, Florida. From 1989 to 2005, I was a huge Heat fan. I’ve attended over 100 Heat games in my life. I owned Harold Miner and Sherman Douglas jerseys. So to hear Ernie Johnson’s stupid “taking it to South Beach” comments throughout Chrysler commercials and when talking about other players who might want to play for Miami next season was irritating, to be kind. Sorry, this is just a personal annoyance, but calling the Heat a South Beach team is like saying the Tampa Bay Rays actually play in Tampa.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/1110/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/lebron-james-funny-or-die-flopping-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/Dean-Cain-is-Pete-Davenport-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/with-leather13-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/dwight-howard-is-still-pursuing-his-acting-career-just-watch-how-amazing-he-is-with-leather-180x180.jpg)
Stern clearly wants the Heat, Knicks, Bulls and Hawks to get to the second round. Why the hawks you ask? Because he knows that Dwight Howard will lead the Magic to the NBA finals if given the chance to advance. David Stern hates Dwight Howard more than any other player in the NBA
I’ll do you one better, ChiCity. Stern wants anyone but the Magic to advance. Since opening day at Amway, when we booed him during his speech, I knew it was over. He doesn’t hate Dwight, he just wants him elsewhere. *cough* New Jersey *cough*
Roy Oswalt?
Orlando is just not allowed to have nice things. See: Shaq, Penny, Grant Hill’s corpse, T-Mac’s playoff record
Burnsy,
You have to admit the stadium is only 3 miles away from South Beach. This is nothing compared to people talking about the Dolphins who say that crap all the time.
Can’t wait for the Los Angeles Kings of Anaheim.
Why does Stern want these smaller franchises to exist if he’s just going to rig the system against them? Shit doesn’t make sense
Stern – The Worst person to oversee a major since Mountain Landis-check!
Donaghy – Terrible ref who was only the tip of the iceburg-check!
Orlando v Chicago in the Eastern finals?-I wish!
Lee Harvey Oswalt shot Kennedy?-Nope!
officiating officiating officiating
i wonder how aj price grabbing rose’s shoulder and selling it as a foul from behind the arc with only a couple minutes left fits into Stern’s evil scheme?
I think Burnsy means Patton Oswalt. Who acts alone, even when he’s part of an ensemble like on that horrible US of Tara that the wife likes.
Oh, and @ChiCityHotdogger
“Why does Stern want these smaller franchises to exist if he’s just going to rig the system against them?”
You need numerous fixed playoff rounds to get the “Total Ratings Points” ESPN/TNT/ABC promise their advertisers. The Lakers, Heat, Bulls, and Celtics have to beat somebody, even though it doesn’t really matter who (whom?).
@Richard, that is the much better point, but I can’t even go to Dolphins games anymore. They’re like Dodgers games on meth.
@Alex, I completely agree. That foul was ridiculous and stupid, but there was a point in this game that it felt like a switch was flipped and the game just went in Chicago’s favor. Again, I’m completely biased against Stern because his hatred of Stan Van Gundy is about to send Dwight packing and crush the economy of my beloved Orlando, but there’s absolutely an agenda on the table to push the major market teams. If anything I’m just an echo.
Oh Burnsy