FALCON KICK

FALCON KICK~!

Also in Milwaukee: FALCONS

I guess this week’s Baseball is Boring is All Brewers All The Time. The next entry is about how Robin Yount has returned from the grave with a harrowing curse about mobile sausages. In Sunday’s 4-1 win over the Astros, a peregrine falcon flew into the stadium, killed a pigeon mid-flight, and settled into the grass about fifty feet away from Houston right fielder Hunter Pence, giving new meaning to Hunter’s Dugout screen name i_just_crapped_my_hunterpence.

Apparently the bird would only be aggressive if somebody went after it, so they just let it hang around while they played the game. Brewers relievers started spotting other, larger birds circling outside the ballpark’s windows. Randy Wolf, whose name is also a sexually charged animal, put the situation into context.

“Whatever it was, it looked scared,” pitcher Randy Wolf said. “It looked at me like, ‘Why is the roof closed? I can’t get out of here, man!’”

You can watch the video on MLB.com, but be warned, it’s MLB.com, and there are quotes in the article like “It didn’t spook me. It was cool” by people like Garth Iorg, I mean, I don’t know if you want to read that. And yes, I know Robin Yount isn’t actually dead.

Victorino's collision

FALCON KICK~!

The Philles are Playing Video Game Baseball

You know when you get a new baseball game, and you start off playing on easy, and do that season mode where you get a fantasy draft? You get all these awesome players and everything seems great, but you kinda suck because you’re learning how to play, so you spend April in these 8-7 wins where you mostly hit home runs and get picked off like 400 times? Right, so then you play for a little while and figure things out, and you just start MURDERING the computer, and you lead the league in everything and you bump up the difficulty?

The Phillies are in that spot right now where they need to bump up the difficulty, because Roy Halladay struck out 14 Padres on Sunday and “Sportsman No. 1″ star Shane Victorino scored an inside-the-park home run. Victorino was hauling ass, too. How many times do I type that sentence? All I need now is for them to pull the old NES Baseball Stars trick and skirt the infield fly rule for some cheap ass double plays.