I just got back from the airport, and this is the post I keep behind the glass that reads IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK OPEN, so here we are.

There is absolutely nothing going on today in sports. Nothing…unless you count the women’s NCAA tournament, which I don’t. And let’s not make this a big gender debate, either. I just don’t watch it. A lot of people don’t watch the NHL, either, but you never not call the NHL a sport. Cumbersome grammar aside, I think I made my point: Nothing happening. Except this photo edit of Roger Goodell’s face on some porn star’s body. I dare you to call this anything but news.

I envision Roger Goodell as a forceful lover. That Catholic upbringing can have a stifling effect on bedroom creativity. Plus there’s the whole ginger thing. Problems at work. Facing a big potential pay cut this fall. These all seem like ingredients for violent coitus. Not that I’m thinking about getting intimate with the NFL commissioner or anything. It just seemed more interesting than talking about the Knicks.

I’m sure there’s some sports news and gossip out there someplace, and we’ll find it. You can spend the next 60 minutes washing your eyeballs out. Thanks as always for reading With Leather.