Yes, someone does have some time out coming. *zing*

Ohio State University has suspended football coach Jim Tressel two games and fined him $250,000 because he not only knew about five of his players selling autographs and merchandise to a local tattoo parlor, but he also failed to report it to the university’s compliance department or athletic director Gene Smith for more than 9 months. The NCAA, however, is still investigating the Buckeyes and the school’s flimsy punishment could be overturned in favor of a harsher penalty. And we all know that nobody punishes a top tier football program like the NCAA.

In reposnse, Tressel got all weepy on us, offering these free rides on the whaaaaambulance:

“Obviously I’m disappointed that this happened at all,” Tressel said. “I take my responsibility for what we do at Ohio State tremendously seriously and for the game of football. I plan to grow from this. I’m sincerely saddened by the fact that I let some people down and didn’t do things as well as I possibly could have.”

“I think that your No. 1 critic is yourself,” he said, tears welling in his eyes at a Tuesday night news conference. “You spend time thinking about how you can do things better. I don’t think less of myself at this moment. I felt at the time as if I was doing the right thing for the safety of the young people and the overall situation.” (Via Fox News)

And of course by the “right thing” he means seeing an email on his computer screen from an attorney telling him that his players done goofed, and simply covering it with a game of Minesweeper. Tressel said that the thought of resigning has not even occurred to him, which is good because it will make his firing so much more fun. I’m kidding, of course, because even with the damning evidence of the emails, nothing else is going to happen to him and OSU will still start the season 2-0.

Check out the emails after the jump…