The story of a 17-year-old girl’s alleged tryst with Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez has reignited the spotlight on age-of-consent in America. Most of us know that the minimum age for legally getting stinky on one’s hangdown varies by state, which is fine. Why settle for an 18-year-old in Virginia when you can travel down south for a 16-year-old in North Carolina. Jeez, that sounds like something my dad would say.

The NY Post has identified the girl as Eliza Kruger of Connecticut, and why not? There’s no alleged crime, and one could argue that Kruger broke her own news when she posted about the start of her relationship with Sanchez on her Facebook page. And one lawyer-turned-blogger is on record saying that if there was any sort of predatory behavior here, it came from Kruger, not Sanchez. From the Post:

Deadspin reported that Eliza claimed she met Sanchez on New Year’s Eve at the Manhattan nightclub Lavo, where he approached her to chat, flirt and get her BlackBerry number.
“You know I’m 17, right,” she told Sanchez, according to the site.
Sanchez allegedly replied, “Well, we can still talk. But I can’t see you until you’re 18,” Deadspin reported.
Eliza then shot back, “Actually, 17 is legal in New York,” the site reported.

Only 12 of our great nation’s 50 states maintain the age-of-consent at 18. But what I really don’t like is the “That’s somebody’s daughter” argument. Ya know who else is somebody’s daughter? Every female on earth. Bam. Checkmate, assface.