So that old dude in Alabama that killed those trees in Auburn’s famous Toomer’s Corner? He can’t seem to find a lawyer, since his first public defender, Phillip Tyler, took himself off the case. Tyler cited a conflict of interest, what with him being a professor at Auburn and probably wanting the herbicidal Harvey Updike to get the chair.

Jerry Hauser was given the case after Tyler, but on Tuesday morning he asked to be taken off the case as well due to his ties to Auburn. It seems Hauser’s wife is the head of the Department of Communication and Journalism at the school.

–Tom Fornelli, Eye On College Football.

Updike should just go back to Toomer’s Corner and tie a rope around one of those trees and hang himself with it. “I’m just gonna put myself outta my misery. Roll Tide.”