Last week, Jimmy Fallon paid tribute to the NFL’s most worthless event with a musical number called the Pro Bowl Shuffle. With the help of Will Arnett, fellow Saturday Night Live alum Horatio Sanz and others, Fallon performed a pretty solid parody of NFL stars like Tom Brady, Brett Favre, Eli Manning, Michael Vick and Troy Polamalu. But the most remarkable aspect of this sketch was that Fallon didn’t once break character to laugh at his own jokes.
The Pro Bowl, of course, will be held the week before the Super Bowl this year, which means that it will be even lamer than ever, as players from the Super Bowl teams won’t be taking part in this exhibition of classic half-assery. And just for the sake of predictions, this means that the AFC and NFC will be without Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers, respectively. Feel free to tell me how they’ll actually be without Troy Polamalu and Matt Ryan, and then let’s all meet back here in a few weeks to congratulate the 11-9 Seattle Seahawks.
Video after the jump…
In case you can’t watch the video because of work or Canadian Internet limitations, here are my favorite lyrical tidbits:
Will Arnett as Brett Favre:
Well they call me Brett and I like to dance
Then I text you a picture of what’s in my pants
11 Pro Bowls cuz I love to win
Been with more pro teams than a Kardashian
If you hear me say, that I’m retired
that just means I’m currently for hire
I shop at sears and I’m on a roll
Shufflin’ on down to another Pro Bowl
Bashir Salahuddin as Mike Vick:
A-bow-wow-wow-yippee yo yippee yay
It’s your boy Mike Vick here to save the day
Had to go to jail cuz my homeboy snitched
Then learned a new meaning for the word *WHISTLE*
I could run it or throw it, to score a goal
I just wish they’d let me play in the Puppy Bowl
Stop barking bad about me or you’ll get the muzzle
Cuz I just wanna do the Pro Bowl shuffle
Seeing as I’m a self-proclaimed expert of SNL history, I’ll take a few sentences to offer up a thought or 12:
- Isn’t it remarkable that while Jimmy Fallon was never even in the Top 5 of cast members when he was on SNL that he still produces better bits for his late late night talk show than SNL currently does? Instead, we get sports parody like Jane Lynch singing a moderately amusing new intro for Sunday Night Football. Then again, I’m convinced that Seth Meyers wouldn’t know a baseball from a circular saw.
- Did Horatio Sanz not receive the memo about fat comedians who lose weight? Wayne Knight must not have sent out the minutes from that meeting.
- Why not have an entire verse dedicated to Rex Ryan? Instead we only get a brief joke. I feel like we’re missing the comedic magnitude of a prominent coach’s foot fetish.
- It’s 2011 and we still can’t say “bitch” on network television at 1 am? Damn you, FCC and your communist laws.
- I pay $7.99 a month for Hulu Plus and I still get commercials. I feel violated.
(Thanks to lead blocker Robopanda for the tip.)