So there’s a story floating around today about how baseball legends Pete Rose and Joe Dimaggio
went to Vietnam, which sounds like the opening of a joke. Since it involves Pete Rose, in a way, it is.

And Joe says, ‘Man, I’ve gotta take a shower.’ I said, ‘Joe, we’re out in the middle of the jungle, what do you mean you’ve got to take a shower?’ He said, ‘I don’t give a damn, I’m Joe D and I’ve gotta take a shower.’ And the only way you can take a shower, Mike, is they have these big bamboo bags, like, and somebody’s got to get on a chair and pour the water and pull a rawhide thing and the water comes through and the guy takes a shower. So I saw everything that Marilyn Monroe saw. Now, when I tell people the best way to describe Joe DiMaggio, he was a penis with a man hanging from it. … Does that give you a better perspective?”

–Sports Radio Interviews, via Povia.Tumblr.

That’s news to us, especially after seeing this photo. Marilyn Monroe was nailing the president for a reason, although she didn’t give head nearly as well as Lee Harvey Oswald.