We discussed this on my podcast last night, but here it is for all of my deaf readers: God’s stabbiest linebacker is holding a contest to help promote his new custom line of apparel. Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis is launching a new line branded as “RL52 Style,” which seems a little silly. All he had to do was old out for that UGG’s endorsement like Tom Brady did. That line includes a sleeved blanket, which Ray is asking school students in Maryland to help him name. From the contest page:
“Name Ray’s Blanket with Sleeves Contest” ENTER NOW! You’ve seen the Snuggie* on TV, but Baltimore Ravens Ray Lewis has come up with a BIGGER, BETTER and PLUSHER version of the famous “Blanket with Sleeves.”
After a hard day on the field, # 52 likes to relax on his couch with this soft and luxurious new addition to the RL52 Style Apparel line! Kids, Ray needs your help to name his new blanket.
If you can come up with the winning name for Ray’s Blanket with Sleeves, you could win an personally autographed RL52 Style Prize Pack and your school could win a visit from Ray Lewis, where he will give an inspirational speech.
First prize is a visit from Ray Lewis to your school. Second prize is your family doesn’t get murdered in the middle of the night. But seriously, it’s cool that Ray is doing things for himself off the field. I just wonder how many kids will submit the name “Stabbie.” It is Baltimore, after all.


“The Stabbie”
It’s a mouthful, but I think the “Does This Make Me Look Gay” is a good name.
I submit “sleeved murder cloak”.
“sleeved murder cloak”
That sounds like a great name for a death metal band.
The Thuggie?
I hope he flies his space raven to give the “inspirational speech”.
Call it “the containment.” Now Ray Lewis and Stephen Hawking will have called something very different the same thing.
Anyone else think this looks like a Sears Portrait Studio photo? All it needs is for Ray to be looking slightly to the Left.
I think that I can speak for all stupid Ravens fans when I say:
“Does it come in purple camouflage?”
The Sheath
I stand by what I said at KSK — that’s clearly the Heaven’s Gate Cult model.
We know Ray loves to stab things. We just didn’t realize he also loved stabbing away his testicles in preparation for the arrival of our alien overlords.
Smock of Death
The Sleeved Murder Cloak is made out of 100% pure Sham-wow microfibers. Cleaning up those pesky pools of blood in back alleys just got easier!
I’m skeptic about this. Mok Enterprises LLC? really? doesn’t come up with much on with a google search.
/Seen plenty of ‘shops in my day
The “Nobody say nothin’ to nobody-ie”
@Hugh Jorgan
There already is a product called the thuggie
[abrownmaninvancouver.tumblr.com]