"That's not a Teflon roof, Lobster Dog! It's a tarp!"

The Metrodome is still falling apart and we’re powerless to stop it. I’m so scared right now, if one of you could just hold me and tell me everything’s gonna be all right, that would be great.

[O]fficials halted repair work until they could resolve what director of facilities and engineering Steve Maki called “an unsafe situation” after a fourth panel gave way Wednesday night He said there was concern that still more panels could collapse under snow and ice still sitting atop the deflated roof.

–Chicago Breaking Sports.

As for the Vikings themselves, they’re not faring much better: Joe Webb will make his first career start when the Vikings host the Bears on the University of Minnesota campus. The conditions could be best described as…somewhat adverse.

“The whole season has been talked about — player safety, player safety, player safety,” Vikings linebacker Ben Leber said. “And then they’re going to say, ‘Hey, go play on some concrete and enjoy yourselves.’”

–Detroit News.

Oh, Ben. Player safety only applies to the offense. You should know that by now.