Shaqueeta

I don’t really have a reason for disliking Shaquille O’Neal other than his constant criticism of my beautiful home of Orlando, Florida, or the way he burns bridges for the sake of his own amusement NBA public relations and marketing, and even though I’m going to watch him and the Boston Celtics poop on my Orlando Magic four times this season, I just can’t help but like the Big Goofball. Shaq’s latest antics involve him dressed in drag as his new feminine alter ego, Shaqeeta. Joined by his current girlfriend and Flavor of Love reject, Nicole “Hoopz” Alexander, Shaq recorded the best Halloween video of any professional athlete.

I suppose it helps that it’s the only Halloween video that I’ve seen from a pro athlete as well. Whatever, if I wanted to spend my days stalking athletes on the Internet, then I’d have to give up my real life stalking of Diora Baird, and I’m afraid I’m just not ready to give her up yet. Regardless, if you woke up this morning and thought to yourself, “You know, I’d really love to see a 7’1”, 325-pound man dressed as a woman and singing Beyonce’s ‘Sweet Dreams’” then you’re in luck.

Nightmare fuel, carb-light edition after the jump…