Couple

On September 26, the Baltimore Ravens were busy squeaking out a tough 24-17 win over the Cleveland Browns. More than two weeks later, the focus isn’t on the Ravens’ hot 4-1 start, but instead the attention is going to a decision by stadium security to eject a lesbian couple from that game at halftime. Mary Kate Morris and Nicole Marchetto wanted to hit the potty at halftime, but a long line sent them to the concession stand instead. From there, well it just got sexy.

Morris and Marchetto were confronted by a security guard after he witnessed them making out in line. He accused the two of making a scene, to which every adult male at the game replied, “Yeah, this is just terrible. Please, oh please someone stop this madness.”

Light some candles, shed your flannel and throw on a Tegan and Sara album, Washington Blade:


While waiting for their orders, the couple engaged in what Marchetto characterized as “casual kissing.” Almost immediately, she said, a security guard and a supervisor told the women to “stop making a scene.” They were warned three times but continued because, according to Marchetto, ”the kissing was heartfelt and decent in the real sense and was not any different from what numerous law-abiding straight couples were doing all around us.”

There’s more to the story about how the security guard accused the couple of stealing the beer and that was his basis for telling them to leave the game, but I have to admit that once I hit “casual kissing” I was pretty much on a runaway train into the realm of lesbian fantasies. Like, I have this one hot fantasy where one lesbian is cooking me breakfast while another lesbian does my laundry. Oh goodness, I’m getting so hot and bothered just thinking about it.

Representatives of the Ravens and M&T Bank Stadium told the media that the lesbians were ejected because they stole a cup from the concession stand to use for holding ketchup for their fries. Personnel said that each and every cup has to be accounted for and because they took one without paying, they had to go. Look, I’m all for law and order, but if two good-looking women want to make out at a public sporting event, I’m pretty sure that 90% of the crowd is going to agree that they deserve that free cup.