Pete-Wentz

Despite being in first place in the NFC North with a 4-3 record, things aren’t looking so hot for the Chicago Bears. For starters, quarterback Jay Cutler has come back down to Earth after a hot start – and a concussion – and the team has dropped its last two games to allow the Green Bay Packers to make the division race neck-and-neck again. And because of that, the team can’t even get some respect in its own town. Not even from the former bass player of Fall Out Boy.

A group of at least 25 Bears players hit the town on Monday and after they finished dinner they hit the night club Angels and Kings, which is owned by Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson. When the group showed up to the door, bouncers told the players that they weren’t welcome. Then one of the bouncers pulled out his laptop and dropped Matt Forte from his fantasy team. That will show those punks.

What do your inside sources tell you, Chicago Sun-Times?


According to my inside source, who was on the scene every step of the way, they were all refused entrance to the club by three bouncers on the door, and no reason was given for not allowing Chicago’s home team to go inside to party. Also, the club was not packed at that time, which was 11:30 at night, and the fellas were not intoxicated. The source said, “The Bears were angry and hurt and felt disrespected because the arrangements were OKd by the head bartender at the club in advance.” Though it was a racially mixed group of players, my source said the Bears felt they weren’t let in because there were too many African-American men.

It helps if you picture a guy in a trenchcoat hiding behind a potted plant, running along the sidewalk. A spokesperson for the club told the Sun-Times on Wednesday that an outside vendor runs that particular club on Monday night, and after hearing about this snubbing that outside vendor has been fired. And to show that management was serious, Pete Wentz snarled his lip and kissed a guy.

But this whole story is kind of a mess, and I’m just not much of a fan of anonymous “inside sources” so I called my own source, J-Cutty, for the real scoop:

“Saps brostein, check this sh*t – like, B-Lach and the dudes were trying to score some clam on the Mondeezy and these juicers are all like, No way, Barack Brobama, you’re not chillaxing in our estab, right? So the dudes are all like, WTF? It was total skeeze-o-rama. But I wasn’t there because me and Olsen were wrist deep in these Asian sisters we met on Craigslist. Total bummer, though. No sideways vajays. And one of them might have been a dude. Whatevs, a hole’s a hole.”