novuvuzela

Luckily for you, English hottie, I have another horn for you to blow, and it’s not in my pants.

UEFA, the governing body of European soccer, has decided to ban the vuvuzela from all of its competitions, citing a desire to decrease fun by 30%. The ban will be enforced for all UEFA competitions, including the UEFA Champions League, Europa League, and Euro 2012 qualifiers. I don’t see what the problem is. It’s not like vuvuzelas are any more obnoxious than Eagles fans.

“European football’s governing body has informed its 53 member associations that it has taken the move for reasons related to Europe’s football culture and tradition, saying that the atmosphere at matches would be changed by the sound of the vuvuzela,” said UEFA in a statement.

“In the specific context of South Africa, the vuvuzela adds a touch of local flavour and folklore, but UEFA feels that the instrument’s widespread use would not be appropriate in Europe, where a continuous loud background noise would be emphasised.” –NBC Sports

“Continuous loud background noise,” you say? Since when were vuvuzelas replaced with Ron Jaworski? According to UEFA, the horn takes away from the pageantry of the game.

“The magic of football consists of the two-way exchange of emotions between the pitch and the stands, where the public can transmit a full range of feelings to the players.

“To avoid the risk of these negative effects in the stadiums where UEFA competitions are played and to protect the culture and tradition of football in Europe — singing, chanting etc — UEFA has decided with immediate effect that vuvuzelas will not be allowed in the stadiums where UEFA competitions matches are played.” –NBC Sports

Haven’t European soccer fans developed a reputation for being just a wee bit racist in their shenanigans? And wouldn’t “BZZZZZZZZZZ” drown all of them out? Sounds like a great way to kill two birds with one stone to me. Too bad I’m an American, and am physically unable to have an opinion on soccer. O well, in moratorium of the vuvuzela officially going the way of the buffalo, enjoy some hotties blowing on everyone’s favorite phallic-looking object.

paraguayan-girl_world-cup-2010

vuvuzelas