toonces brady

A Boston radio station is reporting this morning that New England Patriots quarterback and Bieber-haired dreamboat Tom Brady was in a car accident. While driving his Audi, Brady collided with a Ford minivan, and it was reported that while considerable damage was done to the front of Brady’s car, the three-time Super Bowl champion was out of his vehicle and walking around moments after.

Responded one eye witness, “That’s right, because it’s Tawm Fahkin’ Brady. He can take a hit, not like that queeah Mahk Sanchez. GO PATS! SUPAH BOWL!” Initial reports stated that Brady was taken to a hospital for observation, but WEEI later amended that report, as Brady did not go to a hospital and instead went to the team’s facilities. Responded 10 million fantasy football owners, “OHTHANKGOD.”

Look both ways before reporting this story, Fox News:


The hydraulic cutting equipment known as the “jaws of life” was reportedly used at the scene, although it was not known if rescuers employed it with Brady’s car or the other driver’s vehicle.

The accident, which reportedly occurred at 6:30 a.m. on the corner of Commonwealth and Gloucester in Boston, involved a black Audi and a red mini-van.

Having been in one serious car accident in my life and a few other minor fender benders, being struck by another vehicle is a pretty harrowing experience in itself. But imagine if you slam into a car on some street in Boston and you look up and the driver is Tom Brady. If Brady had been hurt, that driver might as well change his name to Osama Bin Laden. Meanwhile, the city of Buffalo just made it legal to hit Trent Edwards with a car.