Fat Motorcycle

There are few certainties in life, among them are death, taxes, fat girls give good BJs and football players don’t ever learn valuable lessons. Ben Roethlisberger famously face-planted during a leisurely ride on his motorcycle, and in June, University of South Alabama football player Anthony Ray Mostella was killed in a motorcycle accident. There have been plenty of other situations involving athletes and motorcycle crashes and it just doesn’t seem to catch on. So it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that University of Iowa offensive lineman Josh Koeppel was out cruising on his manly chariot when he was hit by a pickup truck. Koeppel, though, wasn’t riding on a Hog or popping wheelies on a crotch rocket. He was riding on a scooter. Ouch, right?

Koeppel is generally in good condition after his accident, thankfully, as he was treated at the university’s clinic for scrapes and bruises. The second string lineman will miss the team’s opener against Eastern Illinois on Saturday, which is pretty lucky considering how bad the accident looks at first. Video after the jump, but I wonder what Iowa’s coach Kirk Ferentz thinks about the accident.

Ride the scooter through a loop with a clown on your back, swallow the bike and honk a horn, Huffington Post:


For Ferentz, the wreck realized a long-held fear. He has “been worried about” the mopeds “for 11 years,” the Quad City Times reports. Speaking of the players who ride them, he added, “Very few of them wear helmets, and the other thing is they’re just not very protected.”

Not very protected? Are we talking about Koeppel or a Northwestern quarterback? *canned laughter*

The video is pretty “horrifying” as the HuffPo puts it. The scariest part is when he gets up and starts walking around. He’s like a zombie, rising from the grave. Ninth-ranked Iowa’s practice mantra is “Break the Rock” but it appears they’ll be changing it to “Walk it Off.”

(Special thanks to intergalactic commenter Dormammu for the tip.)