Howard

While I haven’t accidentally impregnated a girl to enter forced fatherhood, I’m still fully aware that Kidz Bop albums may be the most obnoxious thing on this planet, aside from Old Navy commercials and Daniel Songer. But according to my paternally imprisoned friends, they wear kids out pretty quickly so they apparently have some value. Now parents can get their kids overly excited about popular sports anthems and wear them out, thanks to Orlando Magic center Dwight Howard, who is releasing “Shoot for the Stars”, an album of sports anthems for kids… sung by Dwight.

The album is part of Dwight’s work that he does with Orlando’s BETA Center, which is an organization that deals with at-risk families and teen moms. The proceeds of the album will go directly to the organization, so it’s pretty cool that he’d make an album to benefit kids. In related news, LeBron James tried recording an album but he just ended up contributing to Dwyane Wade’s album instead.

Track listing and hellish nightmare after the jump.

The “Shoot For The Stars” track listing includes:

1. Let’s Get It Started (Awesome, let’s teach kids about the Black Eyed Peas)
2. All Star (Smash Mouth… kill me)
3. ABC
4. Will You Be There
5. U Can’t Touch This (Including his impersonations of Stan Van Gundy, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Charles Barkley)
6. Shout (Ugh)
7. Day-O (UGH)
8. Get The Party Started
9. Jammin’
10. Whoomp (Hoop) There It Is (Whatever)
11. Shoot For The Stars

Via PR Newswire

Howard now joins former Magic and current Celtics center Shaquille O’Neal, who released his rap album, Shaq Diesel, while playing for the Magic. Other Magic centers who have released albums include Bo Outlaw with “Bo Knows Bench Minutes”, Adonal Foyle’s “Get Paid to Nap”, and Geert Hammink’s “Did Someone Just Make a Geert Hammink Reference?”

Anyway, if you’re thinking about picking up this masterpiece in the making, here’s an idea of what you’re in for:

It should be about birth control.