We here at With Leather are spending the day at the annual Uproxx Labor Day Family Picnic, so of course we’re not posting much, but I just took a break from giving Vince piggyfront rides to bring you a fine example of why having “Former NFL Player” and “Hall-of-Famer” on your resume doesn’t necessarily mean you should have a job in sports journalism. Dan “Danimal” Hampton appeared on Pro Football Weekly and the crew offered their picks for the NFL’s Week 1 action. Simple enough, right? Not for “Dipsh*t” Dan.
When it came time to predict the winner of the New Orleans Saints and Minnesota Vikings in their rematch of the NFC Championship game, Danimal – who seriously uses that nickname – said that the Vikings “need to go down there and hit that town like Katrina.” He then gave the camera guy a wedgie, pooped on the desk and challenged a 12-year old girl to a push-up contest.
VIDEO AFTER THE JUMP, BROSEPH!
Added Dan, “Wait, wait… I mean, the Vikings need to seep into the Saints food supply like hundreds of thousands of gallons of crude oil. No wait, I mean the Vikings need to move into the Superdome and sexually assault homeless women. Yeah, that works. Now the Steelers will welcome the Falcons but they have to burn that team like they’re General Sherman. Detroit is heading into Chicago and the Lions have to kick a lantern over and light the city on fire. The Ravens need to fly into New York… Hey, who shut my mic off?”
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Danimal and ben dover together like two nuts in a sack.
At least it wasn’t Cleveland.
Even compliments about that town are worse than New Orleans criticisms.
Other things Dan said:
“The Vikings need to go down to the deep south and whip the Saints like they’re named Kunta Kinte.”
“The Vikings need to make the Saints crash and burn like they were on Lynyrd Skynyrd’s plainride.”
“The Vikings need to take the Saints deep into the woods and make them squeal like a pig.”
“The Vikings need to light the Saints up like they were crosses on a black neighbor’s yard.”
OMG!!! Dan Hampton made a Katrina joke about New Orleans. He’s worse than Hitler!!!
Sometimes you need filler articles. Like this one. The genius is disguising it so that it doesn’t have the appearance of filler. This one was short of the mark. No big deal, soldier on.
First thing I thought yesterday was, “I better not let essequemodeia down.” One of these days I’ll get it right.
No pressure.
Whatever essequemodeia, this article was fucking awesome. Any article that can make fun of Katrina and 9/11 in the same breath is alright in books.
@My Cousin Vinny – you worked SO HARD to ensure that WL used proper grammar and now you’re just discarding the rules of popular phrases yourself “in books”. You sir, are a rogue.