tooncesedwards

Jets wide receiver and avid taunter, Braylon Edwards, was arrested for a DWI early this morning. Edwards blew a .16, twice the legal limit, when breathalyzed, but authorities were more concerned with the toxicity of his beard. It was quickly rushed to the emergency room after blowing a .36.

Edwards, 27, was stopped while driving erratically in a Range Rover with heavily tinted windows at 34th St. and 12th Ave. at 5:13 a.m., according to cops.

Edwards, who was riding with two men and a woman in his vehicle, blew .16 on a Breathalyzer test of blood-alcohol content, police sources said. The legal limit is .08.

Edwards, according to one source, told the officers that “he was fine and had two drinks or so.” –NY Daily News

Two drinks? Unless they were triple distilled moonshine, you’re what we professional boozers like to refer to as a ‘lightweight.’ What’s the matter, Braylon, too full to finish your appletini? That’s fine, now let me proceed to shotgun this Natty Light right in your face. It tastes like testosterone. Edwards could face up to a $50,000 fine by the NFL if convicted, which may keep him from taking that weekend to Vegas in a private jet. That’s a shame, considering the prepubescent factory workers in Taiwan making his shoes slept in til 5:30 today.