packer

Far be it for any of us to pretend to be high and mighty drunks, so when people are caught on camera incoherent and stumbling around a sports venue, I like to think of it more as a celebration of free spirits than a criticism of too many spirits. For instance, we first have a Green Bay Packers fan who experiences some problem with his equilibrium while he presumably searches Bing for tips on how to stand up straight.

This sort-of-upstanding young Cheesehead was tailgating for the Packers’ home opener against the Buffalo Bills on Sunday, but instead of just a boring old story about guy + beer = retard, I like to imagine it a little differently. You see, Gary Ferbman was a promising amateur ice fisher when, during tournament preparation, he fell into another fisherman’s hole as part of a diabolical trap. For four years, Gary was frozen in ice until he was finally discovered and thawed on Saturday. When his friends asked him what he wanted to do first, he said, “I want to go watch the Packers and my favorite QB Brett Favre.”

And the rest is Schlitz binge drinking history. Video after the jump, plus bonus college debauchery.

Over in Knoxville, some Tennessee Volunteer fans had a battle of wits with one of Florida’s tinier fans after the Gators spanked the Vols, and in case you can’t listen to the video at work and can only witness the dwarven crotch-grabbing, here’s a transcript:

Tennessee fan: “Oh mah derrrrrrrrrrrrrp.”

Gators little person: “Blue stars! Green clovers!”

Tennessee fan: “Herp derp durrrrrrrrrrrrrr YouTube.”

Packer Blacker Outter video via Up Next In Sports, wee Florida fan via Out of Bounds.