jorge The Yankees spend a week every year doing something called HOPE week, where they spend a week trying to do good deeds for sad little children as part of a community outreach program to give back for being the most evil franchise in modern sporting history. The first party thrown was for little Jorge Grajales. Unfortunately for him and some poor patsy in the Yankees’ community outreach planning department, it was a pool party and he’s a quadruple amputee. What’re they going to do, pretend to have fun in the pool as he wistfully looks at their moving appendages in sadness? At least he gets to ogle girlfriend breasts, eh?

Mariano Rivera, Nick Swisher, Brett Gardner, Dustin Moseley, Kevin Long and Mike Harkey surprised 13-year-old quadruple amputee Jorge Grajales with a pool party in New Jersey.

Jorge and his foster parents, John and Faye Dyksen, live in North Haledon. Family friends hosted the pool party, where the Yankees players and coaches surprised Jorge. The group of friends and family will be invited to tonight’s game at Yankee Stadium where Jorge will throw out the first pitch. -LoHude Yankees Blog

They’re going to make him sit at his own pool party from a wheelchair then make him throw a baseball with no arms?! What kind of sick twisted torture program is this, anyway?! Ashton Kutcher, is that you?