
Washington Redskins owner and known football genius, Dan Synder, gave the conditioning test the ol’ college try, but much like his star defensive lineman, came up short. In a recent interview with Hogs Haven, Danny let the world know about the most grueling test he’s taken since the SATs.
In fact, Kevin and I went into the interview with zero intention of bringing up, for example, Albert Haynesworth. We felt it would be more newsworthy if we didn’t ask any Haynesworth questions. But sure enough, the first thing Dan asked us was if we came there to talk Haynesworth. We informed him of our decision to lay off the topic due to being completely tired of talking about it but there continues to be no escape from the subject. Since he brought it up, we asked him if he had passed the conditioning test.
DAN: First of all, it is hard. A couple years back, I tell London Fletcher I am going to run this thing. He gets me a pair of cleats and I go out there and try to do it. (laughing pretty hard) I am no athlete. London was just about peeing his pants he was laughing so hard at me as I dry-heaved. I felt like I was going to die. –Hogs Haven
Good to see that Dan can pal around with the guys on the team. Vinny Cerrato didn’t leave the team because of his piss poor performance, but because Dan Synder had his underwear run up a flag pole daily. Vinny could constantly be found crying in his office because the never ending barrage of wedgies left some painful chafing. Former NFL player and ESPN personality Mike Golic was able to finish the test in time, and he’s a fat dad with college age kids. Video after the jump.


dangle slice of pizza in front of him…or Gisele’s tittay
The video is pretty small, but Suzy Kolber is looking pretty good.
Fuck, Hoge, learn how to wear a tie.
London: *mumbles* Oh ****. Son of a bitch! *mumbles* Hi Mr. Snyder.
Dan: LONDON! My main man! I’m going to do this shuttle run thing, wanna watch?
London: Umm, no thanks Mr. Snyder. I really gotta hit the showers.
Dan: Nonsense! You’ll watch, it’s gonna be hilarious!
London: Umm…OK, I guess. Hey Clinton, wanna see Mr. Snyder run the *gets cut off*
Dan: No London, just you. Come on, it’ll be fun.
+Snyder vomits after attempting exercise+
Dan: Now London, wasn’t that fun? Isn’t it great to kick back and have fun with your employer?
London: Ummmm, sure Mr. Snyder.
Dan: That was funny as hell. Good times. Wasn’t it hilarious how I dry heaved?
London: Not really…
Dan: Wasn’t it so friggin hilarious that you pissed your pants? Why don’t you tell the other guys?
London: Umm, no thanks Mr. Snyder…
Dan: TELL THEM! TELL THEM THAT YOU PISSED YOUR PANTS!!!!
It’s simply pathetic that anyone can make a living as an “athlete” and not be able to do that. If you cannot do that, you should kill yourself, hard.
My favorite part was when ESPN made almost zero effort to include Greenfag in the video.
Holy crap Merril. I know the head-sized knot is your adorable little fashion signature, but maybe you could use an extra fat tie that is also actually long enough to cover your whole sternum.
If that was Golic after P90X, I’d hate to see the before.