*He probably will.
Brett Favre told team officials last night that he will not play for the Minnesota Vikings in 2010, marking the first time since July 8 that LeBron James has not been the most hated man in sports. Various media outlets are reporting that Favre claims that his 40-year old body is the reason for his decision and I’m reporting that he’s going to change his mind 67 times before the season begins, the media will blow him, and then once the season starts the media will call him a drama queen. Call it a hunch.
ESPN is also reporting that Favre has been texting his Vikings teammates for the past week, and tomorrow they’ll report that he had Cheerios for breakfast and on Thursday that he pleasured himself to a Roxette CD. Favre’s agent had no comment on the announcement news, presumably because he’s had himself lobotomized to save himself from the pain of being Brett Favre’s agent.
Start the next month of aggravation, USA Today:
The Vikings have not commented on Favre’s status on Tuesday. Fox Sports reported that the Vikings hope Favre will change his mind. ESPN reported that Favre has been sending text messages to teammates in the past day.
Really? The Vikings hope he changes his mind? They’re all just f*cking with us now. There’s no way any of the parties involved are being serious. The NFL is going to have to hire a VP of Dismissive Wanking if this goes any further.
ESPN’s Chris Mortensen also said there’s a 5-to-10 percent chance that Favre will change his mind and choose to play this season. I won’t even bother pointing out how ridiculous that is, instead opting to point out that Favre is 40-years old. If he’s not playing this season, he’s not playing next season.
But of course Brad Childress lets him do whatever he wants, so I’m sure if he did want to screw over the Vikings this season by not playing and then come back next season and run this routine all over again, Ol’ Mustache will be more than happy to comply. Just don’t be shocked when Sage Rosenfels purchases a rifle.
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I’ve decided I’m not going to comment on this story.
Wait, wait. I’ve changed my mind.
I would think Bus Cook (his agent) still loves this crap. He engineered Favre’s way out of GB, used the same playbook to get McNair out of Tennessee and did the same with Jay Cutler and Denver.
This asshole again.
Don’t know if the last post I made was rejected due to length (snicker) but Bus Cook is REALLY tired of this crap. And it’s funny as hell.
See link.
I for one hope he comes back. I just love seeing him out there like he’s a kid playing in his backyard. He’s throwing snowballs and running into the endzone. He even uses topical pop culture references like “Pants On The Ground”! Not to mention he had maybe his best statistical season of his career last year. The guy is a gunslinger and American Hero. God bless you Favre.
@Darin
Um, yeah, I’m thinking I’d want an agent to use a different strategy than the one he used for McNair. That didn’t quite work out so well for him.
Actually li’l Brett-Brett’s just decided that skipping training camp isn’t enough anymore. Now he wants to skip September and October too. We’ll be seeing super douche announce his comeback right around Thanksgiving.
I like Favre, he can come back whenever, he’s 40, let him come in for one play in the NFC championship game, throw a pick and retire again, who cares? Don’t hate Favre, hate ESPN for the insane over coverage. Favre is a good shit with a nice dick, so I’m told
Finally, we can all go back to watching Brad Childress being a terrible coach in way over his head.
Who feels more scared and lonely right now – TJax or John Madden?
Favre retirement talks do have a bright side to them – it means the season is coming close to a start. If he does retire though, I can’t wait for more confused looks from Chilly on the sidelines as he calls a draw to Gerhart on 3rd and 8.
Is it supposed to say there’s a 5-10% chance he’ll play next season? That would make more sense
Ok Fat Pol… I think your timeline is off by a little bit, Cook got McNair off of the Titans, he played for the Ravens and then was murdered by that crazy one.
Nice call on Farve pleasuring himself.