FinalSeason

As a fan of Washington franchises, I’ve been lucky in that I’ve never had to worry about my teams relocating. I can’t really imagine what fans of Hartford, Seattle, or Cleveland felt when their team was forced to move because of difficulties with ownership. Winnipeg knows their pain all too well, but finding closure has been harder for some Jets fans than others. They’re sick and tired of being sick and tired, one fan going so far as to call Winnipeg’s finest for backup.

Well, for one individual, the frustration finally boiled over. This particular soul, a 32-year-old resident of nearby Lundar, Manitoba, reached the point of no return and realized he was mad as hell and he wasn’t going to take it anymore. As any sane person would do when facing a similar issue, he called 911 to air his grievances regarding the Jets leaving town in 1996 and demanded that RCMP officers do anything in their power to get the Jets to move back to Winnipeg. He has been charged with “public mischief, false messages, harassing phone calls and obstructing justice.” –Sportress of Blogitude via Sports Illustrated

You can’t call the man to help you with a revolution. You have to start drinking heavily, flipping stuff over, and lighting things on fire, not calling the police. It’s like these fans have never rioted before. Probably because they’ve never won anything. They should call Philadelphia for rioting lessons. But, don’t give up hope on this story yet, it’s just getting started.

“He began the conversation by saying he wanted the Jets back. He was quite upset about it,” a justice source told the Free Press on Wednesday.

The emergency dispatcher politely told the angry caller there was nothing she could do to help him and reminded him that he was tying up a valuable resource before hanging up. But the man continued to phone back, claiming he had a lot on his mind.

“He had apparently been drinking and told police he hadn’t slept in days. He started talking about world conglomerates, things like that. He was hallucinating, obviously,” said the source.

Obviously, he was hallucinating. That’s the only way he could expect those damn bureaucrat police officers to help him with anything. This phone call happened about a year ago, but the fellas over at the Winnipeg Free Press have uncovered court documents that give us some specifics on the conversation. And it’s a good thing they did, lest we miss this gem.

The final straw came when the man began insulting the 911 operator, eventually calling her a crude name. She warned him that his number had been traced and police were being sent out to arrest him.

“If you’re coming to get me, can you bring me some smokes,” was his reply. –Winnipeg Free Press via Sportress of Blogitude

If he weren’t a pinko Canadian, this guy would be an American hero.