aikmancutoff Though he may change his mind when he realizes that it’s against the rules to pick a male dance partner, former Dallas Cowboys quarterback and footballing hall-of-famer Troy Aikman will once again don a pair of the formfitting pants you know he’s been pining for since his concussion filled days on the gridiron finished up and shake his groove thang on national television. Yes, be prepared for a shock of soul enrapturing blond hair to fill your sense because American pretty boy Troy Aikman will follow in the footsteps of his old Cowboys teammate and serial word garbler Emmitt Smith to sign on for the 867th season of Dancing With the Stars. Stop pretending to look surprised.

Following in the rhinestone capezios of his former Dallas Cowboys teammate Emmitt Smith — legendary QB Troy Aikman told us last night that he’s officially on board for the next season of “Dancing with the Stars.”

It’s pretty unusual for a celeb to spill the beans before ABC makes its official announcement … so if he was being serious, there might be some hell to pay down the line. -TMZ

Ooooh, you see that? Troy Aikman ain’t supposed to be saying these things. Troy Aikman’s in TROOOUUUUUUUBLLLEEEEEE! *Three snaps in a z formation, sasses my way back to the barbershop*. Is going on Dancing With the Stars the new cool thing to do for washed up former athletes? Jerry Rice, Lawrence Taylor, that dude from the Giants who was on the bachelor, Jason Taylor, Maurice Greene, Warren Sapp, Floyd Mayweather Jr., Evander Holyfield and Chad Johnson have all signed on in the past to show that with the right combination of painkillers, their arthritic knees can still do athletic maneuvers normally reserved for those Step-Up movies. I guess this is what happens when athletes lose all hope for an appearance in Space Jam 2.

Plus, isn’t it everybody’s private prerogative to smack on some lip gloss, wear an outfit that would make Zorro blush and head to the mirror for a session of pretending to bop along with John Travolta to the soundtrack of Grease? Wait, I mean Olivia Newton-John. Oops, have I revealed too much?

H/T Sportress of Blogitude