man u beatdown

Those of you discouraged about the possibility of soccer climbing out of “dork fetish” status here in the states can breathe a little easier today: The MLS All-Star Game happened last night, but instead of the league’s best players playing each other, they formed a single team and took on Manchester United, the perennial Champions League power who happen to be stateside for a preseason tour. How’d the All-Stars fare? They lost, 5-2.

[T]he scoreline — against a club in preseason mode, missing its World Cup players, using four starters age 21 or younger — doesn’t reflect well on the league. Twenty seconds had passed when Kevin Alston, a long-term prospect at outside back for the defense-depleted national team, delivered a lazy pass that led to the first of two goals by 18-year-old Federico Macheda. MLS did exhibit some nice work in midfield and caused a stir late in the match, but by then Darron Gibson (age 22) had struck a perfect free kick for a 3-1 advantage, Tom Cleverley (20) had flicked the ball to himself and Mexican idol Javier Hernandez (22) had scored in his debut. –Steven Goff/WaPo.

So basically we got our asses run over by a bunch of college-aged kids. From Europe. I haven’t been this embarrassed since I opened a condom in bed and it turned out to be a packet of Ramen noodle flavoring. But Josh, it’s only one game. Yeah, but the WNBA is kicking your asses in the TV ratings, too. And it’s soccer without the star-spangled laundry to generate my rooting interest. The defense rests. After last night, you should be familiar with that concept.