dave

Following in the footsteps of Brock Lesnar and Bobby Lashley, former WWE champion Dave Batista claims that he has a contract in place to fight in the Mixed Martial Arts promotion Strikeforce. Unfortunately, the man known in the squared circle as The Animal is reportedly a little off on his facts, as Strikeforce reps told TMZ that there is no deal as of yet. First, they said, he will have to defeat three other wrestlers, climb to the top of a ladder in the center of the ring and retrieve a briefcase with his contract inside.

Batista left the WWE recently to pursue an acting career (his excellent work after the jump) as the 41-year old has made his financial security a top priority. Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker has been working on a deal with the gigantic freak monster that would supposedly guarantee him a decent payday for two Pay-Per-View matches. His first fight would presumably be against Lashley, also a former WWE champ and fellow brick sh*thouse. Lashley is currently 5-0 with Strikeforce, but is rehabilitating a knee injury, which I assume is from repeated blows with a trash can lid and/or baseball bat with barbed wire. But there are some hold-ups before the two sides reach an agreement.

Refuse to tag me in, Bleacher Report:

The first reported issue is money. Batista was one of the top earners in the WWE. At this point in his career and at his age, he knows he only has a short amount of time to compete in MMA and wants to earn as much as possible. The two sides are reportedly not close on money.

The second issue is scheduling. When Batista left the WWE two months ago, the reason given was to focus on his acting career. “The Animal” has had previous roles in films “Wrong Side of Town” and “Wapakman” starring Manny Pacquaio and Nicole Scherzinger. Batista apparently has television and film roles lined up for the next couple of months.

Among his upcoming roles are CSI: Tijuana Pharmacy and I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here BEFORE I KILL MY WIFE AND KIDS. Batista joined the WWE in 2000 and made a fast impact because of his remarkable size and agility. In his early years, he made his mark as D-Von Dudley’s bodyguard and then by joining forces with HHH and Randy Orton in Evolution. He went on to win the WWE championship six times. And I know all of that while having actually seen a live female’s breast.

Haha, oh Ja Rule, you are truly an artist.