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When you leave your pregnant wife (with twins!) of 11 years for a 23-year-old intern, you should fully expect an attempt by your scorned spouse to drain you for all you’re worth, right? Not if you’re Tiki Barber, who once wrote in his memoirs, “I want to be an honorable man, because that’s what I want [my kids] to be. My family is everything to me.” Maybe he can write his next memoir about how it feels to be an idiotically delusional hypocrite.

The Barbers, who’ve been together ever since they met while attending the University of Virginia 16 years ago, are trying to split up their estate. Barber decided that it was okay for him to become the person he hates most in the world–by following in his deadbeat father’s footsteps by ditching his unborn children. Remember when he said this? “I don’t give a [bleep] that the relationship didn’t work,” Barber said of his parents’ split in a 2004 Post interview. “Not only did he abandon her, I felt like he abandoned us for a lot of our lives. I have a hard time forgiving that.” I guess the bald, dapper apple didn’t fall too far from the tree.

Anyway, it looks like Tiki’s estate is getting sucked dry by Ginny Barber, and for good reason. Tiki,  if you’re ever in need of some housing you’re always welcome to the sewer grate by my house. Maybe I’ll even cook you up some of the rats we catch.

“Ginny wants $150,000 per month from him in alimony” and child support, an outraged pal fumed to The Post’s Dan Mangan. “In due time, if Tiki was dumb enough to give her that amount, he would be broke.”

“She’s hired a baby nurse to take care of the kids for $60,000,” the friend said. “And Ginny’s legal bill is approximately $75,000 per month to Nancy Chemtob,” her lawyer, said the friend. -NY Post

Ginny’s camp, on the other hand, perpetuates that all of the numbers thrown out by Tiki’s friends are all cooked.

Ginny’s rep said the claim of a $150,000-per-month alimony demand “is categorically untrue. That number is completely and utterly ridiculous.” The rep added, “She does not even have a nanny.”

Remember in 2006 when Tiki Barber, finally an elite running back after shaking his famous fumbling problem, was all set to retire and take the television world by storm with his wide smile and shiny head? It’s been a long spiral downward for the former children’s book author. First, the Giants won a Super Bowl the year after he retired. Then we found out he was a horrible television personality. Now? Well he’s just another unemployed cheating nobody with no cash and a nation that loathes him. Maybe he can go to his dad for tips on being a horrible father to his four children.

At this point he might even have to lace up his cleats and get back into the only thing he’s good at, football. At his current age of 35 he’s probably only good enough to place some special teams, and I can’t think of a better form of penance for this douche juice than getting the crap kicked out of him six times a game as a wedge buster. Well, other than chilling on my sewer grate as I feed him a rat soufflé.