Everything pictured is scaled equally.
They say the mark of a truly great sporting event is the ability to leave people talking about it after it’s over. Game 7 of the 2009-10 NBA Finals was one for the ages – the highest rated Finals game since the Bulls and Jazz in 1998 – and as the Lakers celebrate their victory and the rest of the league prepares for the biggest free agent courtship spending war in NBA history, people are indeed still talking about the Finals. And why? Because, girlfriend, I heard from my stylist who heard from her baby daddy who heard from his niece who heard from the guy at the Redbox that Vanessa Bryant ain’t having none of Khloe Kardashian. OH EM GEE!
Khloe, of course, is famous because her sister Kim had sex with Brandy’s brother, but since nobody knew who either of them were, they made a sex tape and acted shocked and violated when it was released. Somehow that justified giving Khloe a TV show with Kim and their other sister Kewbacca. Khloe, who is married to Lakers paycheck-receiver Lamar Odom, has been having a quiet feud with Kobe Bryant’s wife this season, and now their spat is going public. And don’t blame me because you don’t care about this, blame the women in your life. This is all their fault.
Give me something to read while I get a pedicure, In Touch Weekly:
“She [Vanessa] won’t sit anywhere near Khloé at Lakers games,” the insider reveals, adding that because of Vanessa’s dislike of her, Khloé has been shut out of the tight-knit circle the other Lakers’ wives have formed. “At a dinner for the wives, Vanessa didn’t want to invite Khloé,” the insider shares. “She said Khloé is a ‘fake wife,’ and she didn’t want fake wives there.” The feeling is mutual.
Fake wife or not, Khloe recently surprised Odom with a brand new Rolls Royce after he played on the team that won the Finals. She actually wanted to buy it for him for Christmas, but it took her six months to understand that they don’t sell these Rolls at Cinnabon.
Kim, meanwhile, took her breakup with Saints RB Reggie Bush very hard, as two weeks ago she was linked to soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo, and now she’s very happily dating Dallas Cowboys receiver Miles Austin.
Earlier this week, Denver Nuggets guard Ty Lawson offered his perspective of the Kardashian championship-winning phenomenon via Twitter:
“I heard if u hit a Kardashian u win a championship… Kim K. holla me!!! I need ya for 17 min. I’ll take one for the team lol.”
“If miles Austin miles or wateva his name is win a chip next yr… then thing is amazing.”
He’s a poet warrior, that Ty Lawson.
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Santonio Holmes thinks hitting women wins championships too. It worked for him!
Vanessa Bryant may be a catty bitch, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the last time she invited Khloe Kardashian to a dinner party, Khloe crashed through the wall like the damned Kool-Aid man, swallowed a honey-baked ham, and crashed back out through a different wall.
Do not approach Khloe Kardashian with a firearm whose caliber starts with less than .45
Game 7 of the 2009-10 NBA Finals was one for the ages…people are indeed still talking about the Finals.
Two things are very wrong with that statement:
1. Game 7 sucked. It was basically a contest to see who could miss more shots. It was the most important game in Kobe’s career and he put up a complete dud, and the Celtics stars were disappointing as well. Kind of sad when Ron Artest and Rasheed Wallace are the deciding factors in such an important game.
2. I live in L.A. and now that the parade has come and gone, I haven’t heard a single word about the Lakers. People don’t even have those stupid flags on their cars anymore. The NBA finals have been completely eclipsed by the U.S. soccer team (aka Birds of War) winning their group in the World Cup and Isner’s 96-hour long match at Wimbledon. Kind of embarrassing for the NBA to be outshined by sporting events that aren’t even happening in this country (soccer and tennis, no less), but that’s the way it is.
This ain’t nuthin’, fucking Ricky Stanzi pulls down some crazy fuckin’ tang in Iowa City. REALLY! Some of them girls gotta be almost 400lbs! He equal opportunity, too, gnome sane?
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It makes me sad that Kewbacca can afford a Rolls Royce.
Zack, I might have typed that tongue-in-cheek. Just might have.
Will nobody else ask the important question?
Where the white women at?
what is a fake laker wife and how do you become a real laker wife? does it involve popping 3 xanax and sitting on a podium next to your accused-rapist husband while the whole world looks at you like you’re the biggest idiot on earth?
if so, then you’re the only true laker wife. derek fisher’s wife never had to go through that initiation.
@Burnsy: Aha. I apologize for my touchiness – it’s just that I hate Kobe Bryant so…damn…much. The part about the upcoming free agency arms race was what threw me off, because that’s actually 100% true.
He’s a poet warrior, that Ty Lawson.
That fucking better have not been tongue in cheek, too!!!
I understand now. Thank you very much.
I’d love to see the Laker-wife hazing. I’ve heard they have to insert Adam Morrison’s insulin suppositories.
Ty Lawson used to play Duke in college all the time, so he knows how to handle a giant pussy.
WHO WANTS TO SEX MUTUMBO?!??!?