jamarcus russell gabourey sidibe It’s been a little over a month since JaMarcus Russell was cut from the Oakland Raiders, and after getting passed on by the NFL, the big man is rumored to be taking his talents to the Omaha Nighthawks of the UFL. JaMarcus would be the second quarterback drafted in the first round to join the league, a trail blazed by the sex boat captain himself, Daunte Culpepper. A who’s who of fat quarterbacks, indeed. UFL scouts are looking for Jared Lorenzen, he shouldn’t be hard to find.

A source with knowledge of the situation tells us that the expansion Omaha Nighthawks could be signing Russell, who would team up with running back Ahman Green in the team’s backfield. –PFT

He’s being looked at by an expansion UFL team? That means the UFL is expanding, which is confusing on so many levels. Who’s going to UFL games? Apparently, the citizens of San Antonio and Omaha clamoring for a UFL franchise. They were so inspired by the play of Brooks Bollinger.

Omaha fans should be excited about a Russell-Green backfield, but they’re missing an Antwaan Randel-El type piece to make their offense suck. Never mind, they want to sign Eric Crouch. I tried to think of a reason they’d want Eric Crouch, but my brain almost exploded. If they’re looking for washed up Heisman winners to sign, I’m pretty sure Ron Dayne and Chris Weinke are looking for work, too.