As you might have heard, Mike Vick’s birthday didn’t include balloon animals or a moon bounce or even an apathetic clown, but it did have something you can’t buy in stores; someone getting shot. And there’s new developments to the story.

According to reports, old dog fighting compadre Quanis Phillips, the one who ended up on the wrong end of a pistol shot, allegedly threw cake on Mike Vick when Vick realized Phillips wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near him. Now enters a name you may remember from criminal hijinx stories of yore, Marcus Vick.

Phillips, who is not allowed to associate with Vick, mingled as if he were an invited guest to the party until Michael and Marcus Vick spotted him and “told him to get lost”, the NY Post reports. This upset him and he slapped a piece of cake off of a woman’s plate hitting Michael in the face with frosting.

“Michael didn’t react. I was surprised,” a witness at the bash said. “But Marcus was the one who reacted. He had this I-can’t-believe-this-just-happened, we’ve-been-disrespected look on his face. He was very agitated.”

Phillips “left the party screaming” until shots were heard in the parking lot. -SB Nation

Of course Marcus Vick reacted negatively, I’d flip out if nobody threw delicious cake frosting at my face, too! According to the police, Mike Vick isn’t a suspect. But with this newly gathered information I wouldn’t be surprised if Marcus Vick is given a talking to by police. It’s about time he returns to his natural habitat anyway, which is either jail or scaring teenagers with guns at a McDonald’s parking lot. Read the rest of this entry »

After all of the hubbub surrounding the presence of the wives and girlfriends of Team England’s players at the World Cup, those blokes probably could have used some extra buggering with their sexy birds. But after their 4-1 thrashing at the hand of the Germans, the British players and their clearly intelligent and charismatic WAGS returned home to face the scorn of their disappointed nation.

Unfortunately for the WAGS, their vacations in South Africa were quite short-lived. By order of English coach Fabio Capello, the sexy dames weren’t allowed anywhere near their husbands and boyfriends during the group match play, mainly because of the distractions caused by Abigail Clancy (to the sexy right) at the 2006 World Cup. The sophisticated ladies all obeyed this order, and for their selfless efforts they all spent about one day in South Africa, if that. Those poor, hard-working beacons of independence. However will they live?

Marry me for love and not fame, Daily Mail:

Read the rest of this entry »

In memoriam of Rasheed Wallace‘s illustriously insane stint as one of the most interesting professional athletes in recent memory, I’ll be profiling the top ten angriest sports figures. I will invariably miss a few, so you can berate me in the comments. These are the athletes that give children the quivers as they attempt to approach for autographs. The type of athlete that thinks about which referees they’d like to knock off first when they drive past gun stores. These are the guys that attempt to break into the officials’ locker room after an NBA Finals game seven because he ‘just wanted to talk, nothing bad’ before getting ushered to his team bus in his full uniform and a pair of sunglasses at 11 PM at night. It’s safe to say, if you roomed with these guys in summer camp you better have brought some weapons.

1. RASHEED WALLACE: This is a guy who once decided that it would be fun to assault a rookie teammate who was working on his jump shot alone by pegging him with a basketball from 100 feet, baseball style. He’s the NBA’s all-time leader in technical fouls for a career, and his 2002 season with the Portland Trailblazers featured an NBA-record 41 technical fouls which will most likely never be broken unless they someday allow velociraptors into the league. With his new-found free time he could start a brand new career as an assistant loan collector because nobody would dare hold out money on Rasheed Wallace. “Oh, you don’t want to pay us the money you’ve been owing us for six months, aye? Well you can deal with me or…RASHEED!” *Gasp* He’d have to be an assistant because there’s no way people would understand what he’s trying to say if he worked alone.

2. RON ARTEST: Four words: Malace at the Palace. That alone puts him in the top five of this list. But there’s so much more! Earlier in his career he allegedly spent half-time chugging the Hennessy he hid in his locker. He’s mellowed out a bit, but back in his Pacers/Bulls days you couldn’t go one news cycle without some story about Artest pulling out the hair of Ben Wallace or mistreating his dogs or breaking some cameras on his way to halftime because his jump shot wasn’t feeling right. Before his epic showdown with the fans of Detroit he even attempted to take a season off WITH PAY so he could promote his horrendous Tru Warier rap album. And who can forget his epic playoff series against the Lakers last year when he got Kobe to “I’d rip your face off if there weren’t cameras watching us” type levels. Artest would probably be number one on this list if it wasn’t Rasheed Wallace career tribute day. QUEENSBRIDGE! Read the rest of this entry »

BJ Upton did his best Scrappy Doo impression after teammate Evan Longoria got all up in his grill. Longoria felt that Upton didn’t give 110% when going after center field drive in yesterday’s 2-1 loss to the Diamondbacks. I haven’t seen an argument so heated since me and my buddy debated whether Wendy’s or McDonald’s had the better dollar menu. Obviously, it’s Wendy’s.

Rays center fielder B.J. Upton and All-Star third baseman Evan Longoria nearly came to blows in the dugout today after Longoria took Upton to task for pursuing a ball in what Longoria felt was a cavalier fashion.

After Arizona’s Rusty Ryal hit a ball into the gap between left and center field in the top of the fifth inning, Upton appeared to pursue it at less than full speed. Ryal motored to third for a triple, a key base to attain with just one out. Gerardo Parra rendered that somewhat moot by following with a two-run home run to provide the winning margin.

Between innings, Longoria approached Upton about the play and the two had several verbal exchanges. Teammates had to restrain Upton after Longoria walked away. –USAToday

Rays manager Joe Maddon said that Longoria’s actions represented a feeling that was shared with his teammates. The two must have had a pretty serious heart to heart, as both have said that beef has been squashed. The Rays HR department had Dick Vitale arbitrate the conflict resolution. “You guys are both awesome with a capital A! Let’s all be PTP-ers and have a calm discussion where we talk about our feelings! Evan, how did BJ’s play make you feel?” They should send Dickey V to the West Bank to find a peaceful resolution to that crisis. Video after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

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• So USA-Ghana pulled in pretty good ratings, which is amazing, since most everyone was watching it at a bar.
  Warming Glow.
• “There’s no sex in the International Space Station.” This is why nobody wants to be an astronaut.
  Asylum.
• Would you like to be “Macho Man” Randy Savage? Who wouldn’t?
  Uproxx.
• I realize that we’re nowhere near Easter, but here’s the story of the resurrection of a popular adult-themed blog.
  Google [SFW].
• Miranda Kerr is holding a blue balloon in the middle of the street. People are taking pictures of her. This is how we treat our pretty people, apparently.
  Slick Panda.



• It’s a “preview” of the College World Series championship. That is to say, it has lots of images of coeds from both South Carolina and UCLA.
  It’s Always Sunny In Detroit.
• What if all of this year’s big free agents wound up on a rec team? It’s satire, people.
  Ramblings of the Unmotivated.
• It wasn’t enough that “Mafia Wars” had to bug the hell out of me on Facebook. It’s now being developed into a movie. I can’t wait to not see it.
  FilmDrunk.
• The best dugout altercations ever.
  Bleacher Report.
• “World’s Hottest Grandma?” At least she’s Australian…
  Guyism.

Here’s a dog sharing a bit of nose space with a vuvuzela, and he’s none too happy about it. Fortunately for him, he’s a dog, and fortunately for us, someone decided to roll a camera while taking time to have a little fun with their animal.

But the shoe’s on the other paw now, as this crafty canine … look, he craps on the rug, okay? Ha ha, you’re so clever, dog. That carpet looked pretty expensive, too. Hopefully they’ll have hidden that stupid plastic horn by the time the carpet cleaners show up. Poop humor awaits you after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »