Geffen

Billionaire entertainment mogul David Geffen has been trying for years to purchase the Los Angeles Clippers, and despite his best efforts and promises to raise the franchise to greatness, current owner and selective renter Donald Sterling will not sell. Sterling, widely regarded as one of the worst owners in professional sports history, has recently shed his cheapskate image to little success, but Geffen is promising Clippers fans and Sterling the ultimate prize – LeBron James.

Geffen sat courtside at Game 2 of the NBA Finals with LeBron’s close friend and business manager Maverick Carter, and the King elected not to attend to avoid creating a distraction from the game itself. The 67-year old Geffen is already friends with the 25-year old James, so the possibility of him making due on his word is hardly a longshot. The problem is that Sterling refuses to sell the franchise – or at least the majority share – because he has long declared that it is “an asset of remarkable value.” Added Sterling: “In the meantime, I just had a remarkable meal at Taco Bell and need to take an astonishing dump.”

Straighten your double Windsor, Los Angeles Business:

Based on Forbes magazine’s valuations of NBA franchises, the Clippers are the 23rd most valuable franchise in the league at $295 million. It bears mentioning that the most valuable franchise happens to be the Clippers’ roommates at Staples Center, the Los Angeles Lakers, who are currently in the NBA finals.

Based on the $295 million valuation, a 51 percent stake would cost Geffen, who has a net worth estimated around $4.5 billion, around $151 million.

Geffen believes that his history in the recording industry and partnership in DreamWorks could open endless doors for LeBron to become an unparalleled global icon. In related news, I was once on the jumbotron at a XFL game. Geffen also believes that the core of players already in place for the Clippers – Baron Davis, Chris Kaman, Blake Griffin and Eric Gordon – could offer LeBron an immediate shot at ousting the Lakers as LA’s title team.

Sterling, however, will simply not sell a majority share of the team, but he does have some nice apartments he’s willing to rent, so long as you’re not black or Latino.

LeBron also received some advice this past Friday from longtime New York Knickerbocker Charles Oakley, who told Helen Thomas’ favorite WQAM (Miami) radio host Sid Rosenberg: “I can’t tell him [LeBron] to go to New York. New York treated me bad.” Oakley said that he could see LeBron in Chicago or Miami, saying that he and Wade would be great for each other. He also added that the Knicks organization sends personnel and security to follow him around at games to make sure he doesn’t talk to the media. Why would that be a concern?

On Sid Rosenberg, the host, admitting to being friends with Isiah Thomas:

“Not too many people like Isiah these days. You ain’t gay are you?… If you see a man kiss me, I better be in my casket.” SportsRadioInterviews.com

Fair enough, Knicks. Fair enough.