MMA streakerSomebody wiser than me once said, “It’s better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you’re an idiot than to open it and remove all doubt.” I forget who that was, but it obviously wasn’t a woman. But that’s the same policy I’ve instituted toward my penis. Why show everyone how little it is when at least somebody might have a go at you? Sorry, I turned Australian there for like two seconds.

Anyway, this is video of an unnamed MMA bout (I’m done pretending that I know anything about it) where an enterprising nudist scales and jumps into the cage. Despite the obviously provocative headline, I think this actually made the fight less gay. His appearance stops the fight, serving as a de facto c*ckblock. It might be time to put a roof on the cage, guys. At least that way we could hook up one of those swings.

ASYLUM POLL: Is MMA…gay?