tiger_woods_texts

The worst thing about cheating, I would guess, is being punished over and over from things that you’ve already done. Well, people that you’ve already done, anyway. Such is the plight of Cablinasia’s fallen hero, Eldrick Tont Woods, who reportedly furnished his wife with a four-page list of all of his conquests. Unfortunately, that list had one glaring omission.

The Swedish stunner flipped out and gave Woods an earful after learning he had reportedly bedded nubile neighbor Raychel Coudriet [pics], the National Enquirer reported.[..]

Tiger was confronted by his wife over the phone while he was at dinner with friends. Damn, son. If you’re not ever going to hang out with your wife, why get married?

“I can’t believe you had sex with that girl in our own neighborhood. That’s it … I’m divorcing you.”

The Enquirer’s tipster told the tab “she was screaming so loudly that everyone at the table could hear what she was saying.”

“Tiger tried to deny it,” the source said. “But Elin yelled at him, ‘You’re lying! You’re always a liar! You’re a piece of (expletive).”

–NY Daily News.

Woods’ camp has yet to respond, but honestly, what the hell else can they say? There’s only so many ways to artfully craft a press release that says, “Yeah, our client really has no morals whatsoever.” It’s the facade that kills me. They act like a guy that plows through over 100 women couldn’t get his own shoe deal. Honestly, whose shoes would you want to wear more?