Jared Allen strikes me a man of the people, a guy that likes to “party…with two Rs,” if you will. So it doesn’t surprise me that the Minnesota Vikings defensive end was hanging out in a bar like an ordinary guy. But I was disappointed when some dumb bastard looking for attention told Jared Allen’s fiancee, who was with Allen at the time, that he would see her next Tuesday, if you know what I mean. I suspect that you do.
When Jared heard the insult, the 6’6″, 270 pound Pro Bowler — who’s also an avid hunter — told the guy, “I’ll break your f*cking neck homeboy … and then I’ll write a check to your f*cking name too.”
Jared’s rep at EAG Sports management tells TMZ, “No matter what, Jared will always protect and defend his family.”
There’s video of the scene in the bar after the jump. I wonder if Allen did that little Magic Butter dance when he got outside. You know, that silly thing he does every time he gets a sack. It looks like he’s churning butter and then goes “Tada!” Magic Butter, people.
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Manti-Maxim-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Dolphins-Aircraft-Carrier-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/alex-karras-george-plimpton-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/JR-Smith-Louis-CK-180x180.gif)
What a pussy. I would totally kick Jared Allen’s ass.
/curls 2 1/2 lb. dumbell
Can’t
Understand
Normal
Thinking
This is the same thing that always baffled me about when Charles Barkley used to get in fights with people. How drunk do you have to be to start shit with these guys? If your friends with people like this either get them an intervention or make them get long-term disability insurance.
i don’t argue with jared allen. he eats mayo as a lifestyle option and killed an elk with a spear.
that being said i’ve heard a slew qualified experts “tough talk” in my time; most of it devoted to crushing arabs and fat chicks.
i don’t understand “write a check to your fucking name too”. that seems like a positive. please advise.
*of
I will go without the neck-breaking part, but I’d love it if Jared Allen would write a check to my name.
I feel like Jay Cuntler is to blame
How about write a check to your name, as in when you are dead b/c I fucking killed you b/c you called my hot fiancee a cunt, I will write a fat check from my fat NFL wallet to “honor” your not-so-alive-to-talk-shit-anymore name. I think he meant something like that.
Douchebags operate on a “cash only” policy.
I think if Jared and I fought in a bar he would probably just write me a check.
Then I would make a necklace out of his fingers so I looked pretty fucking his fiance.
/smoking rocks for hitlers b-day
Dude… how does his “signature move” after a sack have anything to do with churning butter? Sarcasm or not… seriously… you clearly have much more talent to finish such an “article” in a better way.
Wow, where do you get this? His sack celebration is not about “churning butter.” With his sack celebration he is playing cowboy, pretending to tie together the legs of a calf after wrestling it to the ground…then after the calf roping, he does the tada.
I thought he said “then i’ll sign a check to your f’n funeral”