THESE ‘TIGER WOODS TEXTS’ ARE GREAT
03.18.10
Former alleged Tiger Woods mistress Joslyn James finally stopped her big tease by releasing the text messages sent to her from the great golfer/banger of whores. Although, it’s a bit of a gyp since all we can see is Tiger’s half of the conversation. Whatever. Some of my favorites can be found in this wonderful blue field below:
Tiger:Sent: 06:34 AM 08/06/2009:
In ohio playing
Tiger:Sent: 05:54 AM 08/09/2009:
I told you im playing these two weeks
Tiger:Sent: 06:50 PM 08/09/2009:
In about a month
Tiger:Sent: 06:51 PM 08/09/2009:
Maybe sooner. Can’t talk now. Will text when i can
—
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/28/2009:
I want to be deep inside you
Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/28/2009:
Maybe in two weeks in chicago
Tiger:Sent: 03:19 PM 08/29/2009:
I need that so bad
Tiger:Sent: 03;29 PM 08/29/2009:
Now:)
Tiger:Sent: 03:30 PM 08/29/2009:
Me to. I would wear you out
More Twitter-like dirty talk after the jump.
Tiger:Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
In a week. I will try to wear you out
Tiger:Sent: 03:36 PM 08/29/2009:
After i cum you better start sucking my cock to get it hard
—
Tiger:Sent: 04″02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat
Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my fucking whore
Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own
Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise
Tiger:Sent: 04:21 PM 08/29/2009:
Where do you want to be bitten
Tiger:Sent: 04:24 PM 08/29/2009:
Ok. Now your talking. Whatever i want. You are mine
—
Tiger:Sent: 05:15 PM 08/29/2009:
I want you to beg for my cock. Kiss you all over to convince me to let you have it in your mouth
Tiger:Sent: 05:18 PM 08/29/2009:
We will see how bad you want me
Tiger:Sent: 05:26 PM 08/29/2009:
Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don’t do it right i will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy
—
Tiger:Sent: 01:42 AM 09/07/2009:
I cant wait to see you as well. What time do you land again
Tiger:Sent: 03:15 AM 09/07/2009:
You are going to be headed to the hyatt lodge. 2815 jorie blvd oak brook, il 60523. Phone 630 990 5800
Tiger:Sent: 11:38 AM 09/07/2009:
Did you get my text with all the info
Tiger:Sent: 11:41 AM 09/07/2009:
I will text you the room number when i get there. Im still in boston
Tiger:Sent: 11:43 AM 09/07/2009:
I have to check in to get the room
Tiger:Sent: 11:44 AM 09/07/2009:
I should get there before you anyways
Tiger:Sent: 12:27 PM 09/07/2009:
In about 3 hours
Tiger:Sent: 12:30 PM 09/07/2009:
I will be there before you for sure
Tiger:Sent: 12:35 PM 09/07/2009:
You just make sure you take care of me when you get here
Tiger:Sent: 06:28 PM 09/07/2009:
Great
Tiger:Sent: 06:30 PM 09/07/2009:
Let me know when your about 20 out i will order dinner. And what would you like to eat
Tiger:Sent: 06:33 PM 09/07/2009:
I am pretty tired after today. I am going to go to sleep early
Tiger:Sent: 06:53 PM 09/07/2009:
How close are you
Tiger:Sent: 07:09 PM 09/07/2009:
What do you want to eat
Tiger:Sent: 07:10 PM 09/07/2009:
Anything simple
Tiger:Sent: 07:12 PM 09/07/2009:
No turkey unless it’s a club sandwich
Tiger:Sent: 07:32 PM 09/07/2009:
How close
Tiger:Sent: 07:38 PM 09/07/2009:
Head to the elevators and go to 334. Thats your room. The door will be open with the dead bolt. I have to get back here to wait for the food. Im in room 358.
Tiger:Sent: 07:42 PM 09/07/2009:
Let me know when you are in the room. Food just got here
Tiger:Sent: 07:47 PM 09/07/2009:
Sweet. Dont come down here yet. Lots of people in the hall. I will let you know when it clears
Tiger:Sent: 08:16 PM 09/07/2009:
Are you close to being ready
Tiger:Sent; 08:32 PM 09/07/2009:
Come on down. Its quiet here in the hall now
Tiger:Sent: 08:35 PM 09/07/2009:
There is a room service cart in my hall. Be careful
Tiger:Sent: 08:35 PM 09/07/2009:
Room358
Tiger:Sent: 09:59 PM 09/07/2009:
Make it ok
Tiger:Sent: 10:01 PM 09/07/2009:
Ok. Lights out. Good night sexy
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“You are my fucking whore”
I bet Tiger has texted that to Mickelson.
“Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise”
Boy, he sure does get pissed when the gallery doesn’t obey the “Quiet, Please” sign!
HAHA NICE, ATM!!
I was really hoping for a “supposebly” to complement the “anyways”. Jesus, Tigs.
Nice grammar. This guy went to Stanford?
can we clean this up a little? delete the fucking time index. what is this, TMZSports?
Also, I want dialogue bubbles.
“No turkey unless it’s a club sandwich.”
if only Elin had known about his stance on turkey, perhaps things wouldn’t have gotten so out of hand over Thanksgiving.
I love how he asks if she has ever tried “golden shower” in the most casual way like it is yoga or a new Bond game for the N64.
ATM? Tiger, you are watching WAYYY too much porn. You should spend more time with your putter.
What the hell? We don’t get to hear what the whore had to say back to him? I have a new-found respect for the club sandwich.
“No turkey unless it’s a club sandwich.”
if only Elin had known about his stance on turkey, perhaps things wouldn’t have gotten so out of hand over Thanksgiving.
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AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! That is classic.