When other people do power rankings, they just churn out aimless drivel in list form. When we do Power Rankings, they kick (and occasionally caress) so much ass.
1. Erin Andrews’ ass. It’s easier to oogle her while she’s dressed.
2. Bacon. The latest casualty of freedom, the war against bacon is another great reason to hate Europe.
4. Regifting BCS schwag. If we had a playoff, we couldn’t get all this great crap!
5. The horse-drawn Hummer. Oh, you thought Hummers were bad for the air we breathe? Wait until you see one that’s towed by an animal that poops in the street.
7. Ohio State’s Mark Titus. Coolest guy ever.
8. WrestleMania. It’s this Sunday, yo.
9. West Virginia basketball’s hotel room antics. If you needed further proof that West Virginia is 10 years behind the rest of the world, here you go.
10. Chocolate Milk Baby. I lollerskated.