1-eva-green-1The Morning Meat brings plates up the best of news, scores and links of the day. It’s what your life would be like all the time if you had attractive friends. Send us tips at WithLeather-Tips@UPROXX.com and follow WL and PUNTE on Twitter. Click Imgs to embiggen.

THE BACON.

Ousted, from the third round of the BNP Paribas Open in Indian Wells, CA, Roger Federer, by 33rd-ranked Marcos Baghdatis of Cyprus. Federer’s 44 unforced errors in the match were reportedly described by one fan as “Insane in the membrane.”

Fast-tracked, by the NHL, rule changes prohibiting head shots with the goal of implementing them during the season. Any such rules would require passage from the league’s competition committee, and then unanimous approval from the board of governors. Chances are considered good for the new rules, since neither of those steps involves Nancy Pelosi.

Ordered, $8 million worth of condoms from the UN, by Philippines (one L, two Ps) Health Secretary Esperanza Cabral, using nearly half of that country’s grant from the Global Fund. As reported HIV cases around the world “declined by 17 percent from 2001 to 2010,” HIV reports from the Philippines more than tripled during that same period.

2-eva-green-3THE EGGS.

NBA

Suns 152, T’wolves 114.

Lakers 106, Kings 99.

Cavs 113, Pistons 101.

NHL

Capitals 7, Panthers 3.

THE LINKS.

  • Tim Tebow is going to throw today! I can’t wait to see if zzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZ
    The Legend of Cecilio Guante.
  • Crappy St. Patty’s Day sports merchandise. Sorry, but if I can’t drink it, I’m not interested.
    Simon on Sports.
  • Gary Busey wants to help you adjust your lights…Hey, where’d he go?
    FilmDrunk.
  • Sperm as people. I’m ashamed that I didn’t think of this sooner.
    Warming Glow.
  • My penguin cartoon from KSK was yesterday’s 7th-most watched “Pets and Animals” video on YouTube yesterday. And you, too, can make a successful YouTube video…
    Uproxx.
  • …or a shorter video.
    Uproxx.
  • Rays outfielder Fernando Perez is “poor,” because he can’t afford to shower in Evian, apparently.
    Jonah Keri.
  • You had me at “personal rocket copter.”
    Gamma Squad.