WEEKEND PICKS: THE ROCK STEADY

At the end of every week, we pick the winners of the weekend’s hottest matchups. Home teams are in ALL CAPS. Many thanks to MMAmunkey for the edited image. Ariba!

Tonight: VILLANOVA -3.5 over William and Mary. It’s college football playoff time, FCS-style. These teams actually met earlier in the year, with ‘Nova winning that matchup, 28-17. William and Mary doesn’t even have a mascot yet. Don’t look for them to advance.

Trail Blazers +10 over CAVALIERS. “Trail Blazers” is two words, for future reference. You’re not gonna believe this, but Greg Oden…was actually healthy for 20 games this year. And then he (yawn) fractured a patella, so he’s done for the year. Again. But the Cavs really seem to be struggling right now, having gone 1-2 on their most recent road trip. Eh, it’s an NBA pick. What do you want from me?

Saturday: Navy -14.5 over Army. I like the Midshipmen here after President Obama’s announcement that Army will be completely pulled out of the game by the end of the third quarter.

BJ “The Prodigy” Penn -275 over Diego “Nightmare” Sanchez. Will B.J. Penn knock out Sanchez? Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Black running back over White running back. Pretty sure that Alabama’s Mark Ingram will win the Heisman this year, but let’s not overlook the phenomenal feat of Toby Gerhart running for 1700+ yards against the Pac-10. Will we see a honky crack the 1500-yard mark in FBS ever again? Not a chance.

Sunday: Bengals +7 over VIKINGS. How will Favre hold up in December? If last week against Arizona was any indication, Backwater Brett might be watching the NFC title game in his Wranglers.

RAIDERS +1 over Redskins. I am drinking the Kool-Aid on Bruce Gradkowski.

Eagles +1 over GIANTS. Michael Vick might be the exact opposite of Eli Manning. Those two should make a buddy cop movie in their teams’ offseasons. In other words, January.