Saturday: Central Michigan – 14 over Ohio. There was a time when Ohio was the xth best team in America, where x is “the number of teams currently in college football.” Central Michigan has been great this season, upsetting Michigan State, who I hear is a Big Ten school.

Houston -3 over East Carolina. Houston has been getting a lot of press for their high-flying offense. But “a lot of press” for Conference USA rivals local high school coverage and wanted ads on milk cartons. Does anyone drink milk from cartons anymore?

Cincinnati -2 over PITTSBURGH. No, it’s not an AFC North matchup. The Bearcats will lock up the Big East if they can get past the Panthers tomorrow. A national title berth, sadly, seems out of their hands.

Clemson +1 over Georgia Tech. Clemson has better players, but couldn’t adjust to the Single T or whatever the hell Tech is running now. They won’t have that problem this time.

Underdogs over The Establishment. Nebraska +14.5 and Alabama +6.

Sunday: Non-crappy teams over Crappy Teams. That’s Cincy -13 over Detroit, Chicago -9 over the Rams, Panthers -6 over Tampa Bay (even with Matt Moore starting), and the Chargers -14 over Cleveland.