I would guess that a lot of guys have gone through a breakup with a girl and then the whole thing seems over and then the girl calls you up (or maybe they just send texts now; I honestly don’t know how that sort of thing works these days) and then she’s all I’d really like to see you one more time. And then the guy is all like Why should I see you? You broke up WITH ME. And then she’s like, Well I need CLOSURE. And it’s usually just “closure” without “closure sex.” So then dude has to go put on pants without any hope of taking them off.

So of course dude is like all Forget that, baby. But then she gets all whiny and she gets all Please, this would really mean a lot to me. And then he goes ahead and goes and then he realizes that she only dumped him so that she’d have more leverage to keep him from hanging out with his friends at that seedy bar on Thursday nights even though she has FREAKING PILATES ON THURSDAY and wouldn’t want to hang out with him on that night anyway. Yeah, that’s exactly what this Bobby Bowden thing is like.